


line without a hook

by nothange



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, levi can't handle commitment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothange/pseuds/nothange
Summary: Eren is a wild spirit, someone who can’t sit still and whose blood is always boiling for a new adventure. He doesn’t fit well with him, too stoic and cold, too rough around the edges to understand and be understood by someone like Eren. Something about this whole thing makes him nauseous, unsettling something within himself.And when he looks back at Eren, sprawled on the ground with dogs hovering over him, licking the sides of his arms that protect his face, laughing so loud that his breath seems like it’s getting sucked out of him, Levi feels his heart skip a beat, clenching—and realizes how fucked he really is.or, Levi spends a month in Bern, falls in love and makes mistakes he'll learn to forget
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 18
Kudos: 99
Collections: Levi x Eren





	line without a hook

The door closes with a bang that rattles in his ears, and Levi shuts his eyes against the noise, lets it vanish into nothing as he pulls at the buttons of his shirt. He takes off his shoes which he lines in front of the wall, carefully placing them against it, but the step he takes is clumsy—he nearly bumps into the wall, prompting his shoulder blade on the cold surface to keep himself up as he walks in the living room. The lights are off and Levi doesn’t make any move to turn them on, leaves the darkness of it be; he doesn’t have any problems finding his way through anyway. 

It's the third day in a row since Levi gets home like this, since the ache of a headache seems to never disappear and his tongue is washed into toxic and sharp tastes. There's no attainment from this, not with the way Levi is with alcohol, and yet the pretense of it is enough to be mildly satisfactory. Levi sighs heavily as he slumps into his couch, arm resting on the pillow as he cradles his fingers through his hair and then frowns down at the strands as he brings them to his eye level. His hair is starting to get greasy, sticking to his forehead, and his sigh turns even more unnerved as he tries to remember when was the last time he’d taken a bath. 

At his side something makes a rustling sound, quick and dull, and Levi peaks at the edge of the couch from the corner of his eyes just as the lamp is switched on and it suddenly illuminates the room with so much artificial light, he has to close his eyes tightly to avoid it blinding him. As he cracks his eyes open, he looks straight into the stare from the person he was expecting to see. Still, Levi would much more appreciate the peace and quiet of his apartment over whatever _this_ would bring. “What are you doing here?” he asks, and only after closing his mouth does he realize how dry it is, and how rough and raw his voice is sounding. 

Hange scans him with her eyes, a slow process that Levi never really enjoyed being the center of, especially not when he looks and feels like this. She fixates him with her stare again, sharper and more judgmental than needed when she says, “You look like shit.” 

Levi groans, rolls away so that he can lean his head into the crock of his elbow. 

“I heard what happened.” Hange goes on, unperturbed by his demeanor as always; “You know this won’t help you, it’ll only make you angrier. You can’t even get drunk if that’s what you want.” 

“How long have you been staying here?” Levi asks instead, turning his head just enough to catch her right eye as she stares back. 

Hange shrugs, looking at the watch on her wrist. “It’ll be about two hours by now.” 

“Then you’ve stayed enough, go back home.” 

“Levi—” 

“Are you going to say something useful about this or are you here just to fucking mock me? Because I could do just fine without that shit right now.” 

Levi closes his eyes and shoves his nose into his elbow, waits against the heavy silence for some heated argument or just a blunt _fine_ before Hange gets up and storms towards the door, but instead there’s nothing. He can only hear the rustling footsteps of his upstairs neighbor and the weird whisps of static from his ears, and suddenly Levi wonders if he’d imagined her there in a form of sleep paralyses; then grimaces at the idea of hallucinating about Hange _at all._

He's distracted from his one-second nightmare by a clicking sound, and the feel of the couch dipping to the side as she gets closer. Levi surpasses another groan as he pushes himself off and turns to fully see what Hange is doing. 

“We both know you didn’t actually like your new job, so that should count as a bonus after getting fired again—” she starts, with a cheerful tone that has Levi rolling his eyes, thinking of the fastest way to fling her off the couch and push her out the door with the lest complains possible. “And we also know alcohol has no impact on you, so instead of letting you be miserable for a few weeks like last time, I came up with an idea—” 

“No.” Levi answers with certainty, shaking his head and crossing his arms as he leans back into the back of the couch. Hange sighs as she inhales on her nose sharply. She has two sheets of paper in her hand that Levi can see now, and his eyes narrow suspiciously at her as she grins, knowing there’s at least _some_ amount of interest coming from him regarding what she’s bought. 

“Let me finish first, Levi. You see, I don’t like seeing you like this, I hate it. Especially knowing it’s neither your fault nor your superior’s for not being able to get a hold of your stupid and aggressive mood swings.” 

“Hange, I swear I'll fly you through that door.” Levi says through grinded teeth, and Hange’s eyes widen, her smile getting broader as if saying _see, I told you._

“So, I thought what better way to get your mind in order other than taking a break from your problems?” 

“You want me to ignore the fact that I'm jobless. Again, for the fourth time in two months.” he deadpans while looking at her, trying to see any trace of guilt or realization on her face and finding nothing. It's either that she can hide her emotions really well or she doesn’t comprehend the matter of empathy; after so many years it’s hard to draw the line at whichever is truer. 

Still, Hange makes a thoughtful sound as she tries to find her words, in the end coming up with, “I mean, it could be worse.” which—is not even _near_ what Levi wants and needs to hear right now. “But,” she follows, holding her hand up as if sensing the prickling anger that courses along Levi’s veins, ready to pop out, “I bought something for you, and before you ask no, you can’t refuse these and _yes,_ it’s happening in two days from now.” 

Levi lets his eyes widen just a bit before he narrows them back into an incredulous scowl, straightening his jaw in wariness. “Have you bought me some fucking free passes to a dubious strip show?” 

Hange’s eyes narrow in what looks like actual consideration, looking down at the tickets in her hands and spreading them to read whatever is written down; whatever Levi hopes it’s _not_ what he just said. “No, unfortunately, unless if you’d actually enjoy it?” 

“No, I wouldn’t enjoy that, fucking damn it.” 

Hange grins, eyes glimmering at what she might think it’s a successful answer. “In that case you’ll love these.” she says, handing over the tickets, and Levi pauses just a bit to try and figure out what they really are before he takes them and looks down at—plane tickets. One for departing and another for arriving. In _Switzerland._

Levi snaps a glance towards her and then immediately back at the tickets in his hands, closing and opening his mouth and shutting it off completely in lieu of having anything to say—anything coherent and smart in any case. Hange sniffles a chuckle as if it’s a matter of amusement and leans back to touch their shoulders together as she nudges her elbow in his ribs. “Impressed beyond words, aren’t you?” 

Levi closes his eyes tightly and takes a sharp intake of breath up his nose. It's unnerving, this sense of confusion, more so than the headache pumping in his head for three days nonstop. Somehow, he thinks sustaining the constant discomfort would be much easier than beginning to understand how _this_ ended up happening. 

“Hange,” Levi breathes, “what the fuck.” 

Her shoulder is shaking as she giggles, right above his ear, “No need to thank me—” 

“These must’ve been really fucking expensive, how... why?” 

“I think you know the answer to both of those questions.” and Levi does, in retrospect. Hange is the head of a large and successful hospital, being a neurologist herself; the matter of money has never been a problem for her. Most of the time she ends up spending it on useless and ugly shit that Levi wants nothing to do with, such as her iguana from the office or the creepy tarantulas she keeps in her bedroom. It's the problem of _why_ that nudges Levi, not because he doesn’t think Hange would ever do something like this—she’s exactly the type of person to come up with such an idea—but because there are more accessible things to buy other than a flight to Switzerland, of all places. It must’ve been a fortune for her either way, a sum of money Levi might have no way of repaying even after half a year, yet she handed him the opportunity like it was one of those stupid books about getting better and staying optimistic. 

Levi’s sure the only realistic reason for this is that Hange wants him out and far away from her sight, so he could be angry in a whole different country. 

“Is this your rich way of saying fuck off?” he asks, flinging the tickets in the air between them for a bit before he flicks them over her forehead with an audible slap. 

Hange brings up a hand to rub on her skin; “Fuck off to your frustration, sure. Look Levi, I know it’s been hard for you all these past months, and being caught up with work—no pun intended—I can’t help as much as I would want to. Just take this, enjoy your trip in the calm and fresh mountain air from Switzerland and recharge yourself, then come back and start kicking again. You can’t mop around longer than this and spend your money uselessly on something like a few shots.” she had backed away from his side as she was talking, her face drawn into curt seriousness, and Levi could feel the weight of the tickets heavier in his grip as he listened. It's _stupid_ and too much, yet he can’t shake the thought that it’ll be nice to escape for a few weeks from all this—from jobs and cold rooms and the monotony he feels everyday even though Tokyo is anything but monotone. 

“I still think this has one of your fucked up catches in the end.” Levi says, caressing the two tickets together and looking over at her carefully, “Surely you picked a shitty motel in the middle of nowhere for me to stay in.” there’s a grin on his lips as he says this, impossible to control. 

Hange notices and touches her finger to his cheek where she swears a dimple is forming on few to almost too rare occasions. “Never get your hopes up, you know no one’s cleaning is up to your damn high standards.” 

Levi snorts, pushing his head away from her as he straightens his back and stretches his arms forward. “I don’t,” he starts, biting his tongue as he looks back from the corner of his eye at Hange who arches a curved eyebrow at him. “I don’t know how—I mean, thank you. For this. I'll repay—” 

“I don’t want you to repay me. And don’t struggle with thanking me, you’ll pop your brain vessels.” Hange shakes a hand at him, looking back with softer eyes as she mouths, “I know, no need to vocalize and embarrass yourself.” 

“Fuck off,” Levi says, but turns around so the twitch of his lips is unnoticed and rubs his palms over his jeans, feels their roughness all along the skin of his thighs. “I’ll take a shower. Leave before I came back.” he says and Hange makes a wave with her hand in a short salute, grinning from ear to ear. 

It takes Levi almost a full hour to get out of the shower and dress himself for bed. Hange is still on the couch, cuddled up with her head in between two pillows in what looks like a painful position for her neck, and she’s snoring loud enough that Levi can hear her from his bedroom. He takes a blanket to drop over her, and while passing his coffee table he snatches the tickets up, sets them next to his phone on the nightstand. If he’s lucky, the change of scenery would kill off his headache and the tightness in his chest before he tries to do it himself with a bottle of scotch. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

In the morning of the next day, Levi sets himself at his kitchen table and tries to make up a plan for what to do in Switzerland. It doesn’t end up being something easy; he has tabs opened on his laptop about touristic locations and beautiful places to visit, but in hindsight he knows almost every option is a different museum, and as much as he would like to learn about the country’s history and culture, it doesn’t seem like something that could help his case. Hiking mountains is still high up on his list of _to be done in_ _Bern_ _,_ but as appealing and fun as it sounds like, Levi can feel the tired muscles pulling at his legs already. He concludes then that the mountains would have to wait until after the first week of the whole month he is to spent there, but what about the time before then—and the time after. He can’t only travel through the mountains for a month. 

Levi writes a few more words at the bottom of the page, lonely words that count as objectives such as café, pictures, swiss cuisine, but it hardly counts as much of a plan. He scrolls down the pages he’s found, reading about the museums and the parks and the beautiful landscapes seen during an expedition through mountains, and comes out empty-handed and with itching frustration. Levi taps the pencil on the table and pushes himself off; he’s already mostly certain he’ll remain in the hotel room for the majority of his holiday anyway. What appeals to him now is to let the heat of the moment do the thinking for him, which Levi doesn’t fully enjoy in the slightest, but it’s better to choose that over the hustle left on paper. 

It's Switzerland however; lazing around and staring out the window would be as much of a win either way. 

Hange texts him the night before he boards the plane; _have a lot of fun, take pictures of everything and buy me an expensive gift_ it reads, and Levi surpasses an eye roll, at least in this instance where Hange is the sole reason for his up-coming therapy wrapped into a touristic escape. 

_You can buy yourself whatever you want._ He types back, but still makes a note to himself to buy a large box of swiss chocolate. It’s the least he could do to repay her in any way. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Landing in Bern ended up being more of a hustle than Levi imagined it to be. 

The flight was too long due to his inability to fall asleep, which irritated him more when the middle-aged man sitting next to him had drifted off into a deep slumber and was snoring through his nose so loud that Levi couldn’t bring himself to arrange his own thoughts in his head. The check-out was storming with people, and while Levi had expected that, it still didn’t stop him from getting unnerved by waiting or by the noises and different smells that defused through the air all around him. 

He takes his bag in a rush while texting Hange that he’d arrived, hooking the strap over his head and bumping his shoulders through the people along his way until he’s finally out. He then walks head-down towards the nearest cab, willing the cool air to dull his pounding headache. It's worse than in the last few days, amplified by the noise and the sudden change from the monotony he’s been stuck into until now, and when the driver asks for the address, Levi stops himself from shouting rather than answering. 

Thankfully however, the drive is silent. He was asked whether he wants the radio on or off, and Levi refused with a firm shake of his head; the roads were smooth and nearly empty, with no unnerving hold-ups in traffic. When the car was shadowed by high trees, Levi looked out the window to see the passing scenery, the wide and dense forest that turned darker where his vision couldn’t reach, and the high mountains with white and permanent snow on the tops, traversing all the length along their road. Levi’s eyes continued to bore into that image, drilling the memory in his brain as he let himself rest against the backseat. 

When he opens his eyes again, the cab is already pulling into the driveway of the hotel, engine halting to a stop. He scrunches his eyes against the heavy dim of light that cracks through his window, and then focuses his vision of the blurry high shapes that form the hotel. It's a large and wide building, with a long balcony in the middle where tables are arranged all around; the windows have their curtains drawn apart, maybe for the light to fill in before it dies out behind the mountain. Suddenly, all Levi wants is to plunge into the calmness the night would bring here, his bones aching to lay still in a puddle of warm blankets. 

He passes the reception center in a daze, half his mind still asleep as he signs the papers and takes the keys, barely making out what the woman says behind her stretched and faking friendly smile. He takes the elevator and then enters his room, the lock making a dull _cling_ as it came shut, and Levi leans with his arm on its surface to get out of his shoes, lining them straight in line with the wall. 

When he turns around, he realizes just how _expensive_ this place must be. 

There are two doors parallel from each other on each wall of the hallway, the left one leading to a spacious dresser for which Levi doesn’t have enough clothes to fill into, and the right one revealing a bathroom that looks cropped out from an Ikea guidebook. Aside from those, the rest of his room is all but a large bedroom, with a queen-sized bed covered in pillows and wrapped with a navy-blue blanket that feels comfortable just _looking_ at it. There are curtains all over the wall in front of the bed, dark black to block any sun from sneaking in. He walks to them directly, tugging the curtains away and—there it is. 

It's the sort of view Levi only has read about while searching for things to do in Bern, the kind of beautiful scenery that left anyone breathless. It didn’t leave _him_ in any state of suffocation however. Levi’s breath wasn’t caught in his throat when he looked out the window, but instead it escaped through his lips in one rushed relief, biting his lip to prevent other sounds from following along. The hotel is built high up on a hill, in the middle of a mountainous area; the mountains that Levi sees from afar cover the full length of his windows, so that he doesn’t know where they end or where they begin. Trees are climbing around them, scattering the land with different shades of green, and the skies above hold a mixture of purple and blue, dulled together in satisfying shapes illuminated from within by the sun that is currently hiding behind thin clouds. 

He scans the scenery one more time before turning away, climbing in the bed with ease and fumbling through his backpack for one of the books he’d brought along. He falls asleep within minutes under the press of exhaustion and warmth, tickled by the gaze of the moon above. The first thing that passes through his mind before he drifts to sleep is that his headache has vanished at some point, leaving his mind free and finally able to rest. 

The next day, he wakes up after the longest sleep in a few good months, well-rested and feeling as if the night stretched on the span of two full days. The first rays of sunlight wake him up, coming through the window he’d left bare of curtains the evening before, and when Levi raises himself up to block the irritation from his eyelashes, he realizes that mornings in Switzerland might be even better than the evenings. 

He expects his alarm clock to ring at any moment, or for a dose of lingering hangover sickness to kick in so he would open his eyes again and find himself back in his apartment. When he reaches for his phone however, the weight of it is real and cold in his palm, and Hange’s message of _how’s the first morning after sniffing that_ _rich_ _, clean air for you?_ confirms about enough to pin all of this as actual non-fantasy. 

And yet now that he’s _here,_ Levi can’t think of something else to do other than lying down with his laptop for the rest of the days. He's never had this much free time; even after getting fired, Levi always found ways to occupy his time and mind with more work. That however consisted in either helping Hange with her (repulsive) arrangement through the documents at her work, which most of the time ended up being more frustrating, having to spent whole days in close vicinity with her iguana, or excessively cleaning around his or Hange’s house. (and sometimes, if he were invited, Armin’s house). Here however, there was nothing left to clean. He could go out on a walk or a hike, but truth be told, Levi entertains the idea of nothingness, at least for a short while. 

He paces around the hotel in the morning to get himself breakfast and later at noon for a consistent and delicious lunch. In his room, he keeps himself busy with his book, or with opened tabs that have been waiting for about four days, with different job application articles. He reads them for so many times that the words get blurred together, and the information from one place gets mistaken for the other. Levi takes a few notes, underlines the places where he feels like it might advantage him better, or where he could work by himself. That’s exactly what the problem is—Levi can’t adapt to working in groups; there’s always one of them that has to be bothered by his way of dealing with work or dealing with humans. The kicker, especially, is that Levi is not great at dealing with people; he doesn’t do friendships—Hange is the exception who pushed herself in his life—and most importantly Levi doesn’t do relationships. He can still hear the girl from his job two months ago, crying because he rejected her invitation to coffee, or the guy from his last job that pressured so hard it made Levi break through the anger boiling under his skin. His getting fired always ends up with Levi, a coworker or costumer yelling. 

He clicks his tongue in thought as he shuts his laptop off, his eyes remaining focused on the view beyond the glowing screen. He doesn’t remember the night settling in, realizing that the hours flew by without notice, but outside the sky is scattered with millions of stars, full galaxies forming in smooth shapes on the clear sky. They reflect themselves in Levi's eyes, glowing so much that all he can see it’s an ocean of lights above the word, and Venus which somehow here it’s bigger and brighter than from his small bedroom window. 

▲▼▲▼▲

Levi is in the middle of reading an article about the requirements for a zoo janitor (not his particular dream job) when he gets a text. It's the second Hange had sent ever since he arrived in Bern, and it made the trick of feeling as if he was disconnected from the other part of the world. It made him forget that his actual home isn’t between rows of mountains. 

_hope you’re not nose-deep into another job application and instead you’re enjoying the great outdoors with your toes bare on the_ _swiss_ _grass._ It reads, followed by another row of stupid emoticons she uses too often. Levi ignores them and reads the text again, glancing back at his laptop screen with a frown and switching to another tab subconsciously.

_that visual is disgusting, and this grass is nothing special than normal grass._

He decides to reply with, avoiding saying what he’s been doing for the last three days. 

It takes her under a minute to respond, saying _tell that to their farmers, those animals are rock-hard built,_ and Levi is certain that even though she knows him from inside-out, he still can’t make sense of much that’s going on with _her_ mind. 

He looks down at the watch on his laptop, ten more minutes till three in the afternoon. The weather was nice ever since he got here, not cold in contrast with the dark clouds above the tops of the mountains, but not particularly hot either, just a cool breeze that ruffles through the tree branches and chills the skin. Levi has walked outside these past days, just around the hotel grounds, reaching a small cliff from where a village can be seen. There's a bench made out of wood near the edge, and on his second day Levi spent more than an hour just gazing down at the commotion of the people and watching as the sunset bathed the buildings in bronze colors. It's a small village, pretty and somewhat having that familiar tone to itself, as if anyone would feel welcomed and associated with it even if it’s their first time visiting. He knows Bern is two hours away, little more than three if he moves on foot, but the village is not even twenty minutes away. 

He closes his laptop and takes his coat along as he prepares to leave. The thing is he can’t stay around the hotel for the whole month he’ll be in Bern; and he wasn’t planning on doing that, but starting slow it’s the best way of advancing. 

The village is indeed quiet, there are a few groups of kids playing around with ropes or chalk, people together in open cafés or diners, and music coming from different shops matching weirdly beautiful outdoors. The houses around are small, cottage-looking, with flowers hanging in pots at every window. Levi walks mindlessly through the roads until he sees a large park in the distance, one he’d seen from the bench as well—big enough to be mistaken with a small area of forest. There's noise coming from inside, from the dogs running around or kids who cry or laugh or chase each other, and Levi walks on the healthy grass with heavy boots, wondering for just a second how would it actually feel like under naked skin. 

An open patisserie caught his eye further into the park, and Levi stopped to buy apple pie; the smell of cinnamon so strong and pleasing it made his mouth run dry. He walks for a while towards the center, waiting for the pie to cool down in his hands. He stumbles when he hears a particularly strong sound, his hand flexing involuntarily hard around his pie, but before he could locate the source of the noise, something big and strong bumps into the back of his knee. He loses his balance, trying to prompt himself on his other leg when the same thing moved and pushed into his back, efficiently making him crush with a groan into the grass below—which surprisingly, smells nothing special than regular grass. 

Levi keeps his eyes closed for a while, unwilling to move very soon. Behind, he can hear more noises, some of which are a tad unsettling, like the sound of a tongue lapping or of intense sniffing. He lets out a muffled groan as he positions his palms flat on the ground, starting to raise at the same time he hears someone scream “ _Demon!”_ from close distance. He settles himself on the grass, turning his head and coming face to face with a large and black dog with shiny and wide eyes staring back at him now with interest, as if frozen in place by his competitive gaze. The name came again, louder and closer, and Levi looked away as he saw the first glimpse of white sneakers. His mouth forms easily into a frown, anger boiling under his skin, prepared to yell at the person for not knowing how to keep their dog to themselves. He makes full eye contact with the person and—stops. His words choke inside his throat, not even able to be swallowed back down. It may be the effect of the perspective; Levi is still standing in the grass, which still irks frustration through him, but the boy is leaning over him with his hands around his knees and eyes almost as wide and shiny as the ones of his dog. He’s rosy cheeked, his hair runs smooth over the tips of his cheekbones, dark and soft, shadowing the shape of his forehead from the afternoon sun in contrast with the rest of his sun-kissed complex. His eyes are a bright shade of green, beautiful like the glimmer of a jade with dilated pupils, and Levi notices that he’s saying something through smooth and pink lips—something he didn’t even get the chance of hearing as the ringing in his ears started again, duller and slower. 

And maybe the other realized he wasn’t listened to, because he stopped talking and instead reached out to him with one of his hands, mouth turning up into a softening smile. Levi looked up at his hand and the frustrating feeling came rushing in again, but he pushed it down as he took the offered help, getting back up on his feet. The hand was strong, smaller but wider than his own, and it sent a flush of heat through his palm for the short few seconds they were connected. The black dog rushed towards him as soon as he was on his feet, pushing his nose into the side of his thigh with his tail wiggling furiously. 

“Sorry about him,” Levi heard as he patted the large animal on his head. The words seemed a bit like coming from underwater, muffled but getting clearer the more he focused on the boy’s voice. “He’s always acting a bit crazy sometimes.” 

Levi turns to him and— _fuck_ , he’s at least a head taller than he is. The mention of a missing leash on the dog passes unsaid again as he gets distracted by the sudden glow of light on top of the boy's hair that drips like shadows on his nose. Time passes in silence before the boy looks away suddenly and bites down on his lip with so much force that Levi thinks it’s about to break through the skin. When he looks back at him, the smile is still wide on his face, but his eyes seem a little more gripping. 

“You’re not from here, are you?” it’s not the thing Levi would’ve expected to hear coming from him. 

He tilted his head as his eyes scanned his face again just for good measure, from the shape of his eyes to the barely darker shade of his skin complexion before he said, “Neither are you.” 

The boy smiles, wide and unexpected, brightening his whole face into something akin to a halo. Levi stares, as if caught under a spell and realizes that the boy can only be a teenager, maybe fresh early in his twenties. 

“Sorry for the food, I try to keep them with me but it’s hard with so many at a time. They're strong too. I can buy you another if you want.” the boy continues saying, gesturing with his open arms around, and only then does he acknowledge the other dogs around them, all sitting and looking between the two. They're at least four more—two, the youngers are held by leashes that connect to a belt around the boy’s waist, and the big one he called _demon_ is still circling around his legs, bumping his head occasionally against him. It's then when he remembers the pie, which is now laying where he’d fallen, bitten only twice with its taste still lingering hot on his tongue. 

Levi weights his options in his mind, but instead says, “That’s alright, I—” 

“It’s no problem, really.” the other interrupts him, his smile more than reassuring, making him bite back his words involuntarily. “I should take them back now anyway, and there’s a pastry in the way. It's the least I can do, you’ve barely taken a bite out of that.” he continues, sending a razor-sharp grin his way. 

In the end, it was maybe _that_ , the challenge that he could feel behind that grin that made him accept his offer. 

They walk back on the way he was coming from, all the dogs raising in pursuit as soon as the boy started on his direction. They were noisier now, starting to walk in circles around them or running off in front of them until the boy would shout their names and they’ll stop to wait for them to catch up. Demon was still sticking to his side, whimpering from time to time to get his attention and licking the back of his hand whenever he was in close reach. Levi scrunched his nose every time, noting to himself to wash his left hand an extra minute after he gets back but leaving it dangling at his side. 

Within short moments the boy spoke again, amusement entailed in his words; “He likes you.” 

Levi snorts, but as the dog moved again towards him, he turned his palm upside down to grip him behind the ear and slowly scratch the deep fur. “Is he your dog?” he asked, not turning back to him but hearing the laughter clearly. It's bright and energic, just like he seems to be. 

“I wish. I just walk them for money. Always wanted one though, you?” 

“Yeah, always did. Not an eager one like this one though.” 

The boy hummed in response, and Levi imagined the way his eyes would narrow and his lips would purse together into a thin line as he thinks of his next words. It seemed in the end like he wasn’t thinking hard enough, “I would think so, I guess it’s better to own one that matches your energy.” he said, and Levi could feel the grin into the sentence. 

He turned his head towards him with, and then flicked his gaze up forgetting how much taller the other really is. “Are you calling me old, kid?” 

The boy’s lips turned upside down for a short while after his question, before he turned back with wide eyes as if just realizing what he’d said. “Not old—just really laid-back, I assume. You seem nice too, dogs would love you.” he ends with a soft smile that feels like consolation and an act of manipulation at the time more than anything else. However, the kid offered to buy Levi the food he’d lost because of one of his dogs; he is on his way to buy him _dinner,_ and Levi can put that forward as a pretext to not let the small misunderstandings get in the way. 

“They sure like you.” he says, and sees a smile forming on the other’s face from the corner of his eye. 

He buys food for both of them, two slices of apple pie for Levi and cherry-filled croissant for himself, the dogs wiggling their tails worryingly around them and lining their necks towards the food in hope he’ll give them some as well. From afar looking in, he looks like such a carefree kid that Levi wonders whether he’s ever had something serious nagging on his mind. He surely doesn’t seem like someone with no friends, or who can’t hold his shit in front of other people while under pressure. 

After he gets his pies, he bites his tongue from thanking him, instead running the question carefully in his head before he gets it out. “What’s your name?” he asks, and the boy smiles brighter than ever before, his lips breaking into a genuine and stretched grin that made the gums of his teeth visible. “Eren Yeager,” he said back, the name rolling nice and sharp on his tongue. 

Levi nods, feels his lips twitch just before saying “Levi,” back at him and turning around on his way to the hotel, sheltering away any expression the boy might’ve given him afterwards. His name came from between his lips so soft-spoken that he doubts Eren even heard him at all anyway. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

His phone starts ringing the moment he picks it up. It startles him a bit as he feels it vibrating in his palm, and it doesn’t help at all seeing the name blinking on the screen. 

“Guess what I found in my office this morning.”

Hange says in her usual enthusiastic tone that breaks through the call as if she’s physically shouting in his ear. Levi pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers, shuts his eyes and says through gritted teeth, “Your disgusting fucking iguana hanging on the top shelf?” 

“Not today!” Hange replies, and something clings on her end, as if she’s flickering a scissors open and closed in front of her. 

“What did you find then?” Levi says, choosing to ignore the sounds. It's common for her to play with sharp objects when she’s bored, and Levi had done his fair share of warnings before he realized this was one of the things she can’t break out of habit. 

Hange in response hums as if she’s trying to remember even though there’s no need for it other than prolonging the phone call—and ultimately his own frustration; “Jean, on my couch. As a _patient_.” 

That, however, urges his irritation away. Levi frowns and calms his voice down to a careful tone, “What the hell is Jean doing in the hospital?” 

“No need to be worried, Levi.” Hange says truthfully, and before Levi could deny his worries, she continues, “Apparently he wanted to show off his new motorcycle, speed up too fast and crushed with half of its weight on his left leg. Damn, wish I could’ve seen that, it’s a good thing he got out only with a fractured bone.” 

Levi was frowning as he listened to her talking, nerves spinning. Hange however, sounded quite excited to give the details of his injury which—shouldn’t be of any surprise now, but it still seems just a bit inappropriate. He cut one of her sentences short with, “Will he be fine?” just to snap her out of it. 

Hange cleared her throat, followed by the sound of a chair squeaking, and then her voice was more serious, as if he’d turned on a switch within her. “Yeah, I bet he will be. Armin came with him.” 

“That doesn’t mean shit.” 

“Sure it does. It's Armin.” 

Levi lets out a groan but leaves it be. It’s true that most of the time Armin can be trusted with basically everything, and everyone. 

“So what are you going to do today?” Hange goes on, her voice again tilting towards eagerness. Levi looks down at the backpack on his bed and the camera next to it. 

“Walking around, taking a few pictures. It's too nice not to.” he shrugs, looking out at the sun that it’s been up in the sky for barely two hours. He hasn’t eaten anything, other than what he had left of the pies from yesterday and an order of hot black tea, but he plans on eating outside either way, in one of the cafés he’d walked by. 

“Glad my taste for holiday destinations is satisfactory for you.” Hange said in a laugh, and something sharp came from her end, as if she threw metal forcefully on the table. 

“Shut up, everyone likes Switzerland. Too cold sometimes though,” Levi says back and zips up his backpack, walking in the hall to get his coat out of the hanger. 

Hange hums, “Suits you perfectly,” and Levi rolls his eyes. “When are you going to hike?” 

“I would be hiking right now if you would get off the phone and stop barging your nose into my business.” he said as he zipped his coat and put an arm through the strap of his backpack. He held the camera in his other hand, weighting heavy in his hold. 

“Cheerful as ever. I'll call you later. Make sure you eat fondue sometime!” Hange prompted before she hung up on him, and Levi spared one last glance at the screen before he dropped his phone into his pocket. 

Outside, in the first hours of morning it turns up being colder than Levi had expected it to be. It's a good thing he picked his coat before going out, but the wind still bites on the skin of his cheeks, getting them to an irritated shade of pink. Cold or warm however, the scenery remains beautiful. 

He stops at one of the cafés that looks emptier than the rest, walking inside when a woman steps out with a take-out cup of coffee with stream still hotly rising above. The indoors of the café somehow matches the rest of the village, with the dark wallpaper and polished tables made of hard wood above which small and decorated lanterns are hanging from the high ceiling. Levi goes to one of the empty tables, waiting for a waiter to come and take his order as he sets his camera down on the table before him and unzips his coat. He's about to put it around the backrest of his chair when he catches sight of the view from the outside—the mountains are bordering the village, high and almost monstrously looking. The tops of their heights are hidden and covered by thick clouds, creating the illusion that they might be bigger than they really are, so wide that they hover dangerously over everything else. Levi turns around for his camera and opens it again, sets it in front of the window and goes to focus it on the crests of the mountains, stripped along by trees and spots of snow. 

He's about to snap the picture when the sound of crying distracts him, looking behind his shoulder at the cause of the sudden loud noise. There's a family standing a few tables away, a small girl standing with her feet on the stool as she fists her palms around the collar of her mother’s shirt, her eyes willing up with heavy tears, nose running. Levi can see a large and messy stain on the girl’s skirt, and then the child starts kicking her feet into the chair beneath her; and Levi has never been more annoyed. 

He shuts his eyes forcing the noise to dull to nothing behind him, and turns around to focus the camera again. He looks directly through the finder, but instead of snowy rocks, he looks back into two green and familiar eyes. He startles, the sudden surprise forcing his finger down on the shutter before he can lower his hands to make sure he knows what—or _who_ he’s looking at. But when the camera is put aside, the person turned around with hands firmly set into fists at his sides and a lazy grin on his face. It doesn’t take long for the door to open, but it takes even quicker for Levi to confirm that the green eyes were Eren’s. It's hard, impossible even to forget their bright and vibrant shade. 

Eren is walking towards his table, hands swinging at his sides and grin turning into a pleasing smile the closer he gets, and Levi can do nothing but watch, his hands still on his camera, forcing them to not raise at the challenge of taking his picture. 

When he gets at the table, Eren stops and looks down at him, his eyes narrowing and looking a bit to the side, as if he doesn’t really know what to do _now._ Usually this would send nerves through Levi’s veins, but now he’s more curious of how this’ll go instead of telling Eren to leave him alone. The other opens his mouth at the same time a waitress comes at the table, asking for the order. Levi looks at her startled before he turns his gaze back at him and waves a hand towards the other chair in form of invitation. Eren’s smile is brighter than any other he’s seen, by far at least. They both order, Levi a noodle soup and Eren a cup of coffee with three cubs of sugar, which is too much, in any way Levi thinks about it. “I wasn’t sure if you’ll let me have a sit, honestly.” Eren says as soon as the waitress steps away from their table. 

Levi looks up at him and shrugs, faking nonchalance, “You pretty much invited yourself over here. But I suppose you can take this as a thank you for yesterday.” 

Eren quirked one of his eyebrows, his lips never falling from their grin. “I'll take it how I want to take it, and if I wanted you to pay me back for yesterday, I would’ve told you beforehand. Besides, I didn’t do anything, it was Demon the one who made you fall.” 

Levi closed his eyes as he groans, tapping his finger over the wood. “Train that dog.” he said as a conclusion, even knowing that he isn’t actually Eren’s dog. The boy though laughed at him, nodding his head as if he really took note to try his best at training him right. 

After a short while Eren looks back at him, green and wide eyes meeting his own, and Levi realizes a bit confused that he’s been staring at the other for the whole time. “What are you doing in Switzerland?” Eren asks, prompting his head into the palm of his hand, his eyes looking content and waiting for whatever Levi is going to say. He however wasn’t aware this would turn up into an interrogation. 

“A friend bought me the tickets. Said I needed a vacation to blow off some steam.” he answered honestly, and watched as his narrowed eyes widened, the smile on his lips shaking and turning into a straight line. 

“No joke. Someone paid for your trip to Switzerland from...” 

Levi stubs his finger around the shape of his camera “Japan.” 

“Japan! Are you in a sugar daddy-sugar baby situation, or—?” 

“Hange could never even dream of being in that position. No one with the sane mind would want to be in her care when it concerns money or daily life.” 

Eren makes a pointed grin, lowering his voice so no one else can hear when he says, “But you called her a friend.” 

Levi looks to the side, snapping his jaw shut. “I've known her for a while, and she keeps up with me. I think I ended up tolerating her with time, though I can’t really say the same for her.” 

He sees the move of Eren’s arm, rushing through the air in one dismissing move and turns to watch him shaking his head with a confident purse of his lips. “Oh, come on. You wouldn’t have called her that if she couldn’t resist that ever-present grimace on your face. I'm sure she’s lovely.” 

Levi raises one of his eyebrows at him, “Do you have a problem with my face, kid?” he asks. 

Eren makes a displeased face after his question and Levi’s chest tightens, just a little, unexpectedly. However, the other’s face brightens immediately, looking down into his eyes and shrugging away his shoulders as he turns his gaze back out the window. “Not at all,” he says like a soft murmur, and then as he turns his attention on him again, “I think it’s adorable.” 

Levi frowns, looking at his eyes as they grow lighter, as if there’s a whole source of heat coming from within his eyeballs and drifting down to his irises. He drops his eyes back on the table, circling the shutter with his index finger and getting distracted only when the waitress comes back with their order. Eren hasn’t said anything in the mid-time, but after the food arrived, he let his mouth run, talking excitedly about the village and his dogs. Not _his_ dogs per se, but with the way his eyes sparkle as he talks about them, it’s clear that he feel in love with all. Levi listens to him, keeping his attention on him and not missing out on any story. Eren's coffee gets cold after a while, and Levi suggests buying another, ordering tea for himself as well to keep him occupied as Eren talks. 

When they finish their drinks, Levi calls for the check, getting ready to leave the café and go on his way. He can see Eren fidgeting as he puts on his coat, occasionally running his tongue over his lips and before he can ask if everything is alright, Eren looks up and says, “Can I have your number?” 

It makes him stop, feeling a bit out of breath. There's no actual reason to give his number, Eren won’t need it anymore after he’s gone, and Levi will surely erase it from his phone after the month here, but the thought passed his own mind while Eren was talking. It came and gone like a flash, thinking how their conversation could continue through phone, but he had no intention of asking for Eren’s number in the end. That aside, it seemed like Eren took the question in his own hands. 

Levi takes out his phone and gives it to him. “Put your number in and text me sometime.” he says, and Eren’s whole face brightens as he takes the phone from his hands. 

Later, when he sits in his bed and looks through the photos, he finds the one taken with Eren in its center, though it’s moved and unclear. He can still see a grin, faded and sharp, which must’ve slipped on his face as Eren turned around, and his hair is snapped into a wave, as if he’s seconds away from turning around. Somehow, him alone makes the whole picture better than any other. Levi shuts off his camera and curls into his pillows before he can think more about _that._

▲▼▲▼▲ 

_Hello_

Levi stares at the word on his screen, eyes still dizzy and heavy with sleep. The letters get blurry with every blink of his eyes, and he’s about 70% sure he’s still dreaming, but the ache in his right arm says otherwise. He groans as he pushes himself up and then checks the time—nearly seven in the morning, earlier than he’s ever woken up since he is in here. He wants to curse whoever woke him up, but instead of a name, the id of the sender is just a smiling face and a star, and Levi knows for sure he wasn’t the one who’d done that. 

He stands on the edge of the bed, thinking and rewinding the events of yesterday when the memory comes back. And just as fast, Levi feels concern, realizing that having Eren’s number in his phone might not be a good idea after all. It could turn up being something bad—something that feels like a recipe for disaster. 

Still, Levi turns on his phone and opens his messages. 

_you know you have to write your actual name, don’t you?_

He leaves it like that, checking again after he sends the message before he gets up. He runs a hand through his hair, feels the beginning of rough roots under his fingertips. He walks into the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a quick shower, and when he walks out of the room with a towel around his waist and water still heavily dripping from his hairlines it’s already 8am. 

He lights up the screen of his phone, the notification of a new message popping right up afterwards. he grabs it from the bed, leaning his hip into the nightstand beside him and reads, 

_I'm surprised you even knew who I was without asking._

Something about all this feels ironic. It's not something Levi does, he hardly gives his number to his coworkers, even Hange had a rough time trying to snatch his phone number out of him, though in that case was more his own stubbornness acting up. Eren is a complete stranger, someone Levi has no business with, and yet he got his number faster than anyone else. 

And also, there’s the issue of his age. Eren is definitely young, too young, and Levi doesn’t want to turn this into a mistake that they’ll both regret in the end. 

But somehow, Levi doesn’t find any difficulty when he starts typing back. 

_it wasn’t that hard, really._

_why?_

_why have I given you my number? I think you’re sharp enough to figure that out_

Levi taps the edge of his nightstand in thought and then wills the answer away. It's one of the possibilities he doesn’t want to think too much about. 

But still, Eren texts again, and Levi dreads it and feels curious about what he’ll say at the same time. 

_so, you’re on a holiday here, right? I've been_ _living_ _here for a while, I know some good places, I can take you out whenever you want ^^_

It's hardly something Levi would call a good idea, not necessarily because he doesn’t like tour guides but because it’s Eren the one who offered to be his tour guide. He doubts the other could provide indebt descriptions about the places and history around them if he hasn’t lived here his whole life, or if the time he’s spent here is somewhat similar to the one Levi is supposed to stay. And Eren must have some other things to occupy his time with, maybe a job he needs to work for, or more dogs to walk—Levi doesn’t want to take his offer if it means messing with Eren’s schedule day by day. But, it’s Eren the one who asked, and Eren the one who purposely put his name (smiling face and star) in his contacts in order to ask this very thing. And truthfully, Levi can’t really feel any irritation towards the probability of spending time with the kid again; just conflicting thoughts that are still too dull to make him refuse. 

And Hange told him to enjoy his time and explore as much as he can; if Eren is willing to let him see places that are worth his time and camera storage, maybe it’s not so bad to accept. Levi can control his thoughts, especially knowing he’s not one to jump into spontaneous romantic adventures. Maybe, if he’s careful, this won’t turn into a disaster at all. 

_I highly doubt you’d be a good guide._

Levi types as a reply, nor accepting or denying and waits as the bubbles start bouncing while Eren prepares his own response. It takes really little time for the message to be send, and when Levi reads _wait to be blown away,_ his eyebrows rise, the edge of his lips quirking up into a sudden grin. 

He sends a simple _okay_ as reply, followed by a few emojis with wide smiles from Eren, and the full fondness of it makes him want to roll his eyes. 

They make plans to meet the next day at the café they’ve stayed in, meeting in front of the doors and then walking towards their first destination. Eren didn’t say what it’s going to be, promising instead that he’ll make sure Levi doesn’t get bored during their trip—which didn’t really mean anything to the other, being already sure that it can’t be easy to get bored around the younger. What is clear however is the fact that Eren is planning to take him into Bern today. 

Levi stops in front of the café fifteen minutes before their arranged meeting. He rests with his back on the wall as he looks at the view before him, all senses focusing instead on the press of his phone in the bottom of his coat pocket in case it buzzes with a notification. They've been chatting quite a lot the other day, most of the conversation coming from Eren’s part and still, Levi hasn’t even for a moment found it annoying. Maybe it’s the lack of human interaction he’s had in these past few days, enjoying messaging with someone doesn’t mean it has to be something special. 

Eren arrives five minutes later, his presence easily noticeable. He looked to his side at the other who’s smiling in a bright and almost charming way. He's dressed differently than the other times he’s seen him, wearing jeans and a green hoodie with a flying bird on the right upper side. His jacket is open and he holds his hands inside his pockets, but the pose along with the bright aura on his face makes his stance more open that it seems. Levi gives him a curt nod as he pushes himself from the wall. “Are we supposed to walk all the way to Bern now?” he asks, hoping the answer would be negative. 

Eren lets out a quiet laugh, folding one hand from his pocket to rub it quickly under his nose. “No. We'll take the bus; it leaves in ten minutes. Come here,” he says, tilting his head towards the way he came from, and Levi checks his watch carefully before he follows. Eren's back, in that leather jacket, looks bigger than in his autumn coat, stretched over his skin and muscles. “Are you excited for today?” Eren asks over his shoulder, and even though Levi can’t see his face, he knows there’s a grin latched with his words. 

“For me to be excited depends only on your guiding skills.” 

The bus station is right outside the parc. They're the only ones at the stop, and Eren is standing on the bench even though it has holes and the wood looks too drenched and old to support anyone. Levi crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans onto the pole instead; “Not many people travelling to the city around here?” 

Eren makes a humming sound, tilting his head towards him. “Not really. I can’t really say because I'm new into the town, but I don’t think they have any need to travel that far when they have everything they need here.” 

“Sounds lovely. So that’s why you’re here? Because of the secluded style of the area?” Levi asks, turning his eyes down at him. 

Eren opens his mouth as to say something, his eyes changing with something uncertain within them, but before he can respond with anything, his gaze focuses on something behind Levi’s shoulder and he gets up back on his feet. “The bus is here.” he says in a quiet tone, and Levi watches the tight line of his lips for a moment longer before her turns away from him. 

The inside of the bus itself is nearly as deserted as the station, with only a few passengers scattered by the windows. Levi choses a seat, taking off the strap of his camera from his neck and holding it in his hands instead. Eren takes the seat beside him, his thigh touching the side of his knee involuntarily as he settles in and then remains close still, as if his posture is too big for the space between them to be wider. Still, it’s not uncomfortable. Eren keeps his distance, his hands plastered in his lap and head tilted the other way, maybe watching the scenery from the further windows. Levi looks away, content as the bus starts to move forward. His eyes hunt the changing views for potential pictures, even though he doesn’t really want to ruin them by taking pictures in a moving bus. 

The ride is long however, and even with the forests and mountains to hold his mind occupied, Levi can’t force his thoughts to stray from the other’s presence. He peaks at him from the corner of his eyes, finding him looking forward or typing on his phone, and even though it’ll be easier to keep his mouth shut, Levi just—can’t. 

“For how long have you been living here?” 

Eren jumps a bit in his seat, looking at him startled as if Levi had shouted at him. He composes himself quickly, lips pursed in thought. “For about two months now. Been to Vienna before, though I like it here better, it’s friendlier.” 

Levi hums as a response, his hand curving fingers around the edge of his camera, “I guess you like travelling then.” Eren laughed, relaxing back in his seat. The brush of their thighs was sudden and harder this time, but the other made the move to separate them quickly. 

They've talked during the whole ride, Eren more than Levi as it were to be expected. He talked about his time in Vienna, about his part-time job as a bartender and how he apparently has a born talent for tossing glasses into the air. (Levi doubts that very much, but it’s not the time or his place to contradict him about it). When the questions come his way, Levi avoids them carefully, responding with vague or short sentences and instead focuses his details on talking about Hange and her work, how much of a hassle she can be and what disgusting tastes she has in the matter of pets. However, Eren looks genuinely intrigued about her iguana, so Levi makes a note to himself to keep an eye on him as well. 

“We’ll go down at the next stop.” Eren says when they’re in Bern, the change of scenery barely noticed. He looks out the window and realizes that the city and the village are really very different. Here are high buildings, built in a strong structure and with smooth and beautiful architectures that hold everything under the light of richness. Mountains are still present in the horizon, as they are everywhere, but their aspect seems a bit clearer, with the light green of the grass curving up almost all the way with trees that cover more of the pointy rocks near the top. 

When they get out of the bus, Levi puts the collar of his camera back over his neck, and holds it in both hands. The buildings before them are older, built out of sandstone and with a rough looking exterior. He can see high constructions in the way, a tall and wide clock building, and at the side, the edges of the paved road, as if separating this side of the city from the rest. 

“This is the first destination.” he hears Eren say, and looks at him as he positions his camera in front of his face, holding the clock tower in focus along with the large path leading towards it. “The Bern’s old town.” Eren explains, just as Levi snaps the picture and lowers his camera in favor of turning around to face him. Eren is grinning, way too excited for this, and Levi huffs through his nose as he lets go of his camera. 

“Let’s begin, then.” 

Levi finds, very quickly, that Eren isn’t the type to keep his mouth shut. He points different buildings and structures along the way and plants they encounter on the street, sounding as if he’s a local yet lacking the confidence of selling the information most of the time. He doesn’t try to stop his ranting however, providing a surprisingly good background noise. 

The city itself is good for a photographic eye, with neat and rough buildings that envelope the real meaning of old age kept in right conditions and flower pots or ivy spreading on the upper sides. There are a lot of beautiful fountains along the way, where people are gathered to either take pictures, drink or throw coins. Eren had said that the old city is known as the city of fountains, which is no surprise after taking in the sight of them. They are all ornated with colorful flowers, delicate pillars and detailed decorations that spark the medieval feeling through their pumps. 

Eren is beaming by the time they get into the heart of the city, his eyes sparkling and smile widely stretched. “There are shops on every side.” Levi says, unintelligently, and Eren nods, turning at him with a confident smile. 

“That’s practically what old cities become over time. They are ages behind our modern time so people would want to visit and see how it looked like back then, but with that large number of people sure comes the opportunity for money. There are nice things around here, I promise; these shops don’t disappoint unless you have a tight wallet.” 

“And I suppose you don’t. Have a tight wallet, I mean?” 

“Well...” Eren scratched the back of his head, shrugging one of his shoulders and then locking eyes with one of the nearest shops. It's a bookstore, Levi notes, raising his eyebrows back at him. “I don’t make a habit of throwing my money around here, but I do observe, and there are a lot of nice things to see around here.” 

“Right.” Levi sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and walking ahead of him towards the bookstore. Eren's steps followed him behind after a while, at first tentative and then close enough to see their shadows merging with each other on the sidewalk. 

And, Eren is right—there are a lot of nice things to look at. Levi finds books about the town and country’s history which he flicks through interested in the pictures that serve as illustrations for the change of events described, and a lot of detective books he’s never heard about but noted for later purchase. He also found home decorations and notebooks, tons of different boxes of chocolate and tea cups with new types of tea bags he’s never tried before. He spends maybe too much time reading the description for each when Eren finds him; he holds a book in his hands, and he’s at least thirty pages deep. 

“Haunting of the hill house? Didn’t think you’d be a horror fan.” 

Eren stumbles a bit, biting his lower lip. “Just trying it out, I'm better with the movies.” 

“Really? Thought they would be a scarier experience, isn’t that what they’re made for?” 

“Yeah, but horror movies are usually predictable, my mind however isn’t.” Eren said as he came to his side, taking a tea bag in his free hand; “And you? Big tea lover?” 

Levi scoffs, choosing not to answer as he takes three bags with him and turns towards the reception. He eyes the chocolate boxes from the corner of his eye, making Eren stop as well behind him. It's swiss chocolate—the best chocolate, as it’s known for, but these boxes are small, and not as fancy looking as he would like, or rather as Hange would like them to be. 

When he reaches for one, Eren says, “These aren’t that great. We could go to a chocolate shop after, there are a lot around here.” Levi considers it, knowing it’s most certainly more expensive than the box of chocolate here, but all things considered, Hange did pay a lot for this whole holiday. And Levi wouldn’t regret giving her something in return—even so small in comparison. 

He nods at the other, and continues walking. 

Finding a chocolate shop didn’t took as long as Levi expected it to. Eren guided him through as if he had the path memorized in his mind, and after nearly ten minutes they were standing outside a large building in front of which was positioned a cropped-out chef holding a plate of chocolate cubs. Eren opened the door for them, ever so excited, and the sweet smell hit Levi with full force, a bit too much and too sweet for his tastes. 

Inside are rows of shelves with chocolates, boxes carefully placed on the walls almost up towards the ceiling, and in cabinets Levi can see bottles of liquor and syrup. It has so many sweet things that he almost feels intoxicated with all of them. 

He sees Eren choosing cubs from the testing plates, putting them with hungry eyes into a bowl. Levi approaches him, still holding his hands fisted where he can’t see them. “Do you come here a lot?” 

Eren nods, “I really like sweet things. You?” 

“Not really. They're for Hange.” 

“Ah,” Eren huffs, picking a white chocolate with Mozart’s head in the middle; “Your eccentric doctor friend.” 

“More like crazy scientist with an obsession for weird animals.” 

“Thought she was working with humans, not animals?” 

“You tell her that.” 

“Can’t. I don’t know her.” Eren says, and Levi frowns for a bit before he realizes it as well. He's almost close to saying ‘not yet’ but he bites his tongue, keeping those useless thoughts to himself. Eren won’t get to meet Hange, just as Hange won’t get to listen to him talking about Eren and their time together—it's pointless, to bring any of this into conversation when he and Eren will be miles apart in less than two weeks. “Here,” Eren says suddenly, making him look back just when the other shoves a cub of chocolate in his mouth. Levi gags around it, just a little, before he brings his hand up and bites through the chocolate normally. It has caramel filling, and it fills his whole mouth with sweet and rich taste, and Levi doesn’t particularly like sweet treats, but this— 

“This is good.” Levi says after he swallows, inspecting the rest of it before he eats it whole. 

“I know, it’s my favorite.” Eren says as he takes another, this one of a black color with a feather along the whole front. “And this, with mint. I promise it’s good.” Eren showed him, holding the chocolate between two fingers. Levi considered his convincing smile before he took it and put it whole into his mouth, cracking the hard outlines with his teeth. The intense sent of mint washed over his tongue, but it wasn’t too much to be overwhelming, just enough to get a good taste out of it and leave room for more. After he swallowed it as well, Levi licked his lips slowly, for any remaining flavor in the corners of his mouth. Eren was looking away when he looked up at him, the tips of his cheeks dusted with a soft rosy pink. 

“Can they make a box with only these two types?” he asked, grabbing the bowl from Eren’s hand to look at the other’s design. They're all beautifully decorated, so carefully and detailed that it’s almost a shame they’re all going to be eaten. 

Eren made a humming sound, clearing his throat carefully. “Are you sure you want just these two? We can try—” 

“It’s fine, I don’t have a sweet tooth for that kind of thing. Though I suppose if you do know more that taste good, you can help me pick.” Levi answered, placing the bowl back down and turning towards him with his eyes searching into Eren’s own for—something; discomfort maybe, or joy. 

“Only if you tell her I was the one who hand-picked all these chocolates for her.” Eren says back with a grin, turning his back at him to dive his hands back in the bowl and place them carefully on the tray next to it. Levi's own grin was more forced, something about Eren’s sentence making his chest constricting tightly. 

“Do you think she’ll like them?” Eren asks when they step out the shop, his voice quivering a bit with uncertainty. They've stayed inside for about half an hour as Eren placed the chocolates in the order of their tastes, from promising to questionable, changing the rank for so many times that Levi was growing impatient enough to decide sticking only with the first two. In the end, the final box contained in seven types of chocolates and, by some awful coincidence, Eren found a box with a bearded dragon cover, which Levi only hopes won’t bring her any ideas. 

But aside from Eren’s worries, there’s no question that Hange would love the chocolates. “I'm sure she will, no need to stress out, kid.” Levi assures him, and hears the faint hissing noise Eren lets out behind him. 

Before he can ask what’s wrong, Eren takes him by the arm with both hands and slides into his space, so close that he can smell his cologne, tingled with jasmine and something sharp, like citrus. Eren tilts his head away too fast for him to keep track of the senses. “Aren’t you hungry?” Eren asks, holding his elbow gingerly with his fingers for a short while before reluctantly letting go. Even through the skin of his coat, Levi could feel the difference of temperature, and he shoved his hand into his pocket annoyed. 

“You’ve eaten a whole fucking bowl of chocolates, Eren.” 

“That doesn’t mean I'm not hungry anymore.” 

When he looks back at him, Eren has a soft touch in his eyes, and they sparkle almost, like a little puppy begging for attention. Maybe if he didn’t look like that, Levi would’ve found it in himself to cut their day shorter. 

Instead, they went to a near-by terrace, with the view over the river and the mountains that raise in the distance. Levi takes pictures, from different angles, and when he finds Eren through the finder leaning into the barrier he calls for his name, positioning the camera his way. Eren looked confused at first but it vanished fast from his face, turning around with a bright smile and half-closed eyes. Their whole meal had Eren’s voice as background music, and Levi leaned into the flow of his stories, fully intrigued by meaningless things. 

They walk back to the clock tower afterwards, and get caught up in a round of souvenirs shops and studios, not buying anything and just passing from one to another. Naturally, Levi would despite this type of activity, but with Eren it’s almost—fun. As enjoyable as it can be to make him not want to back away. 

By the time they exit the old town, the night has already settled above them. He doesn’t remember when the hours have passed, just that it’s too late to wait for a bus, especially when he doesn’t know where Eren actually lives. Levi takes out his phone from his pocket, turning to Eren as he says, “Should I call a cab for us?” when Eren doesn’t respond, he looks up at him, finding the other facing sideways towards the sky, light running down in rivers over his skin. His eyes, even from where Levi can barely see them, are filled with the reflection of the night sky, full of burning stars. His throat closes up involuntarily, “Eren?” 

At the sound of his name, Eren looks back at him, his eyes focused. “Sorry, what was that?” 

“A cab. For the both of us.” 

“I—uh, yeah. I'm staying somewhere along the way anyway.” he says, looking away from him. Levi hums as a response, starting the call and turning his back to him, looking upward. The stars here are still bright, and there’s a high possibility that the night sky would be one of the first things Levi would miss the most after going back in Japan. 

In the backseat of the car they both keep a wide distance from each other, compared to the close proximity they had on their ride in the bus. Eren holds both hands between his thighs and he’s looking outside the window, with his forehead pressed on the glass. There's a feverish color on the top of his ear from the cold, that continues over the side of his cheek. 

“Did you like it?” he hears Eren murmur, and Levi turns his head fully to look at him. There's no question whether he liked this day or not, but whether he’d ever take up the offer of spending another day with Eren afterwards. The smart answer would be no; he barely knows anything about the younger boy, he probably has dogs to walk every day and most importantly Levi won’t stay around for long. He doesn’t wish to continue this further if there’s the possibility that in one of these days, he would get attached enough that he won't be able to get him out of his head. 

Though, if Eren would ever ask to go out again, Levi doesn’t know at all what his response would be. 

“Yeah, I did.” he answers, a bit too late. Still, Eren turns at him and gives him such a warming smile that it almost makes him flustered. 

“I'll get off here.” Eren says after a while, searching in his wallet for his part of their share. Before he gets out, he turns to Levi again, fingers closed tightly around the handle. “Good night, Levi.” 

He gazes into his eyes, a wide green ocean full of hopeful lights and his thoughts get lost, then come back only when the click of the car door opening rings in his ears. “Yeah...” is all he says and watches as Eren closes the door again with a grin before turning around. As the car starts again, Levi tilts his head towards the window, trying to see the building where Eren goes in. 

It's too dark to see much of the buildings outside, and there are a lot of trees that obscure what could’ve been easily observed, but Levi does see the sign above the door. It still doesn’t come as much of a surprise when he realizes that Eren lives in a motel. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

He can’t quite manage to sleep the night, all events from yesterday rushing in his head like a broken water pipe, filling his thoughts and making it impossible to shut his eyes closed. He rests his head on the headboard, looking through half-closed eyes at the night sky and the bright full moon below the top of his window, trying to clear his head. 

It's almost surreal how much Eren affected him in just one day, all his individual thoughts being the way he won’t stop rambling when he gets into talking or how his eyes sparkled when he showed him something he liked. Seeing him like that and spending time with him was like fueling and empty engine, powering up his batteries that were running out for weeks. Maybe the effect of clear air helped a lot too, as Hange said at first. But it might’ve whipped his mind at the same time, making him experience things he’d never felt before. Feelings he doesn’t wish to hold on for much longer. 

It’s easy in retrospect: he just needs to keep the distance from now on, not answering any messages or calls; just acting like all had had a limit, or explain to him that continuing building this friendship of sorts needs to stop. Eren would understand, Levi is certain—he seems like a rational boy, and if not, Levi is used to disappointing people. 

With this thought Levi falls asleep, and after barely three hours he wakes up with a crane in his neck from sleeping with his head bent into the headboard. He curses and rubs the back of his neck, feeling the insides of his stomach rumbling hungrily. It's not even six in the morning, and the staff might still be sleeping; the hotel cafeteria surely isn’t open and won’t be until eight. Levi checks the time again, then the temperature outside and decides, after a few more minutes of pacing, to get dressed. 

The walk towards the little village is already familiar to him, and today it takes him shorter time to pass through the forest, fueled by the sudden hunger. He doesn’t choose to stay at a café however, taking food from the first shop he saw on the way and walking forward towards the park. There are many places in there he didn’t get the chance to photograph. 

He finishes up his meal, some swiss dish he doesn’t remember the name of but good and consistent enough to get him rid of his hunger, and continues walking towards the wider side of the parc. A lot of trees are planted on this side, large and dense enough so they make shadows on a wide area around them. There are benches under some of them, and the path is paved, safe for when people jog or children stop to play with their toys on the ground. Some lamps are placed from place to place which might illuminate the place beautifully when night comes, and beyond the trees is a widely green field where Levi can see dogs running after thrown discs or people laying down for a picnic. 

He comes next to a small statue of an angel covering himself with his wings, and touches his camera right before a bark startles him. He turns around, ready to chase the dog away, but his warning dies out when he recognizes the black dog running his way, with tail furiously wiggling behind. “Fuck,” Levi says, and when he looks up from the dog, Eren watches him with stars in his eyes. He thinks absently that if Eren too had a tail, his would be spiraling out of joy. 

It's not too late to turn around, they still are a few good feet away, and Levi considers just ignoring them, but— “Levi!” Eren says, waving his hand for a salute, and there’s not much Levi can will himself to do other than give him a short nod of recognition. “I thought that after showing you a part of Bern you wouldn’t come back here anymore.” Eren said, and something about it sounding like a threat made Levi grin. 

“I was just buying some food, I promise I won’t waste my time around this boring place for longer.” 

“Wasn’t trying to say that!” Eren interjects, and his hand reaches out towards him with fingers opened wide, but he stops in his tracks, dropping it back by his sides. “Want to stay around for a bit? I just started walking the dogs, I’m sure you’ll enjoy their company.” 

The answer to this type of question was craved in his mind since yesterday; now that he met Eren by chance here, Levi should stick with his plan and explain why he thinks it’ll be better to keep their distance. It's on the tip of his tongue, the refusal, but at the same time he wants to say _'_ I'll surely enjoy _your_ company’ and that’s exactly the opposite of what he needs to say. 

He opens his mouth determined, looking into his eyes and sensing the hopeful glimmer inside them, and what comes out instead is, “I guess that wouldn’t be that bad.” but it is—it could be. 

Eren however smiles showing his teeth, and something about it feels somewhat canine, a bit predatory and a lot childish, and Levi is already slowly regretting his decision. 

Eren guides him through the trees to the field, where two young puppies are attached with their leashes to the leg of the bench. They both raise their heads expectantly when they get closer, seemingly full of energy as Eren calls out their names and rushes to get to their side faster. He releases them, throwing down a few crunches of a biscuit before he turns to Levi again, crunching so he gives the rest of his biscuits to the other dogs. “These are dog biscuits by the way, I'm not rude for not asking if you want some.” 

“Don’t bother, I wasn’t going to take any.” Levi says, crossing his arms over his chest. It's the first time he looks down at Eren, something similar like the pride of winning an achievement cursing through his body for a short second before it passes as quick as it came. Eren looks small, this way standing on his knees and leaning in towards the dogs like an excited child; he looks young—so much younger than him. 

He averts his eyes, a bit overwhelmed by the in-coming thoughts. “I saw where you’re living.” he says. “Why are you staying in a motel? I thought you said you’ve been living here for two months.” 

Eren shrugs, falling back on his elbows as he watches the dogs eating their meal or jumping over each other to bite playfully at their ears. “I've been travelling all around Europe for about two years now.” Eren says easily as if it’s nothing. Levi quirks an eyebrow at his back, seeing now how the light reflects itself on his hair, mixing bright auburn with dark brown. “Sometimes I’m at the bottom of my wallet, like I was when I came in here. I remember last year I had the same problem in Lyon but France really isn’t the best place to run out of money. The motel here is nice though, and cheap, so I decided to stay.” 

His voice is smooth, explaining everything with so much nonchalance that Levi almost believes he’s making it up. “Why?” he asks him in the end, and that at least makes the other look at him, rolling his head back as he gazes up. 

“Exploring different cultures, seeing new places. I guess the main reason was because I wanted to escape my homeplace; I've known it for my whole life, never leaving it—not even once. I was curious of what’s beyond that.” 

“Where is your homeplace?” 

“Germany. Berlin to be more exact.” 

“Berlin is a nice city.” 

“Yeah, but it’s not the only nice city out there.” Eren laughs, turning his head away when one of the dogs barks, and raising himself up to reach him. 

He's a wild-spirited boy, he realizes. Eren hadn’t left the city where he was born for the longest part of his life, and in that regard, they are similar. For Eren, travelling seems like something that grew on him with time, something that’s pulsing through his veins, while Levi, even though he’s enjoyed every moment here, still longs to be back home. 

Eren is a wild spirit, someone who can’t sit still and whose blood is always boiling for a new adventure. He doesn’t fit well with _him,_ too stoic and cold, too rough around the edges to understand and be understood by someone like Eren. Something about this whole thing makes him nauseous, unsettling something within himself. 

And when he looks back at Eren, sprawled on the ground with dogs hovering over him, licking the sides of his arms that protect his face, laughing so loud that his breath seems like it’s getting sucked out of him, Levi feels his heart skip a beat, clenching—and realizes how fucked he really is. 

The day passes by faster than Levi expects it to, and by the time he checks his phone and sees 5pm on display, him and Eren haven’t left each other’s sides. He went with him around town to the owners of his dogs and showed him the whole park afterwards, taking pictures along the way. 

It's around six when Eren decides to take him to a bar, saying it’s the best kind of alcohol he’s tasted from the places he’s visited. Levi doesn’t say that he can’t get drunk, holds his tongue at least until after they’re inside the bar and Eren would offer to buy him a strong beverage. It's as bad as it is the fact that the day is rapidly running out, knowing he’s spent the whole time with the person he wished to keep away. 

The inside of the bar is crowded and smelling of intoxicating alcohol. A lot of people are on the dancing ring, most of them dangling their limbs over another person’s body, and Levi understands quickly why the alcohol here is so good—it does its effect, possibly really quickly. “Hold on,” Eren says to him loudly over the music and grabs his wrist to guide him through the crowd. His hand envelops his whole wrist, tingling warmly over his skin, his thumb brushing the edges of his knuckles. Levi represses the sudden burst of chills that run on his spine and steps in line with him instead. 

The lights are dimmed low in the bar, basking it in red and purple colors, giving somewhat of a violent feeling. Levi tries to spot Eren from the line at the bar, leaning on the leather couch of their booth with tired muscles, spreading his legs under the table. His phone buzzes in his pocket, just when he sees Eren coming from behind a couple holding hands, and averts his gaze to check his notifications. There are five messages from Hange, asking if he’s alright and whether he considered hiking one more time. There’s also a picture, and Levi opens it, seeing with horror that Hange took a selfie with one of her tarantulas in her free hand. The last message is _I know you miss us,_ followed by hearts and kissing emojis . Levi rolls his eyes, typing _keep your fucking spiders away from me,_ before he closes his phone again. Their glasses cling on the table just as he puts it back in his pocket, and he looks up at Eren, his whole face in a red glow due to the lighting falling right on his side. 

“This,” Eren says as he picks his glass up, “Is the best beer you’ll ever taste” 

Levi purses his lips, tilting his head as he looks at his own drink, “Don’t be so sure of yourself.” 

“Don’t contradict me before you try it.” Eren said, his eyes sparkling with the challenge, more intense now that their green shifted gradually into a darker and sharper brown. 

Levi clears his throat, just before raising the glass to his lips; “I can’t get drunk. If that’s the reason why you brought me here it’s best that you know from the start.” 

Eren looks a bit baffled, his glass half-way to his mouth and lips parted questionably. Still, after he scrunches his nose, he smiles reassuringly at him. “I didn’t plan to get you drunk, Levi. You can take this in any way you want, and besides. That just means you’ll have to watch me getting completely wasted.” he said, and right after he put the glass to his mouth and drowned half the drink down his throat. Levi watched it with wide eyes, an incredulous laugh escaping through his lips as he reluctantly took a gulp of his own drink. 

It didn’t take long for Eren to get drunk however. The boy has a really low tolerance for alcohol, only taking three full glasses of beer to get him beyond tipsy. His hands are sprawled over the table, grabbing the edge from Levi’s side, his cheek pressed into the face of the wood, and he’s saying something, or singing, Levi can’t really understand over the louder sound of the music. He's forbidden him from going after more drinks, taking the charge instead to bring both of them water, drowning the glasses along with Eren because otherwise he _won’t take any other shot unless we take them together._

Still, Eren’s state is already as tipsy as it is, and Levi knows it’s the time to break their fun off. The clock on his phone shows 11pm when he opens it to check, and he wants to make sure Eren gets home safe, refusing to think about how many nights he had to walk alone at night in this state. 

Sure, there’s always the possibility that Eren wasn’t alone, but if he can ignore his former thought, he can ignore the latter as well. 

He shakes Eren’s shoulder, hard enough to make him jolt and raise his head in his direction. His eyes are still a bit too dilated, his lips wet with remaining drops of alcohol, and Levi runs his tongue around his own lips involuntarily, Eren’s wide eyes tracing its movement. “Let’s get you home, Eren.” Levi says, composing his voice to a neutral tone and lifting his hand away before his fingers could curve around the muscle of his biceps. 

Eren sighs, leaning away from the table and looking towards the rest of the bar, a lazy grin grazing on his face. He looks at Levi again and drops his elbows on the table, catching both cheeks in his palms. “Dancing?” 

Levi frowned at him, looking him up and down, the red color over his cheeks already too vibrant to be just the source of the lights. “What?” 

“Dancing, Levi. Let's dance.” 

“Ah,” Levi sighed, shaking his head as he got up and grabbed his arm with one of his hands. “No.” 

“Please? At least one dance?” Eren asked, his hand grabbing around his own. Levi startled from the unexpected touch, Eren’s fingers colder than he’d expected them to be, curving around his own palm, thumb brushing over his knuckles and in between them. There's a shiver along his body, and he can’t stop it soon enough. 

“I don’t dance.” Levi says and slips his hand away from his hold, bringing it back into his pocket and shoving it all the way. “Maybe another time, we should leave now.” he says with a quiet voice, and Eren holds his eyes fixed on the hand disappearing in his coat, his mouth doing a downturn into a pout, but recovering quickly. 

When he looks up at him again, his eyes aren’t wide with only drunkenness, but hopefulness too, and that doesn’t help the rapid pounding of his heart at all. “Really?” he asks, and Levi frowns at him before he realizes that he’d mentioned the possibility of another night spend this way. 

It's too late to retake his words now, and hopefully Eren would be too hangover to remember any of this by morning. “Sure, another time.” he says then, clearing his throat uncertain. “Now will you get up?” 

Eren laughs, his hands holding his arm for support as Levi feels it becoming stiff under the persistent press of Eren’s fingers around him. He balances once he’s on his feet, the sudden force of being on his weight again making him stumble and Levi tries to catch him before falling with his free arm, securing it around his waist. It's not the best position they could be in at the moment; Levi’s nose gets caught between Eren’s collarbone and the crock of his neck, the scent of jasmine strong along the skin slick with sweat. Eren's own arm is pressed between their bodies, fingers holding tightly around the sleeve of his coat, and his chin is rested on Levi’s head, buried in his hair. They both seem to still in place, catching their breath, and when Levi tries to get away, his hip bumps into the table instead, prompting him to angle more into Eren’s space. 

He feels the hotness of his skin, the blush raising on his cheeks and on the back of his neck. And maybe he doesn’t have that strong of a tolerance like he thought he did, because the proximity of Eren’s body and the feel of his skin on the tip of his nose so close to his lips makes everything feel sensual, in a strongly tipsy way. He tries to remove his arm from Eren’s waist, but his fingers only close around the other’s shirt, making confused misdirections to his brain. His arm brings Eren closer instead, and the other takes it as a form of invitation, pressing up his thigh in between his legs and lowering his head enough that Levi’s lips brush on his neck, and his mouth opens over his ear, sending his sigh directly to his brain. 

It's this what makes him come to his senses, into a violent and wild realization. He puts all his force in his arm, pushing Eren away from him and holding his arms at wide spread to keep the other at lengths away from him. Eren looks down at him, confusion lingering in his eyes, hands still reaching for him. Levi swallows tightly, feeling his throat closing around a bile of saliva and drops his hands by his sides, grabbing the other by his sleeve to walk him through the crowd. 

Eren falls asleep in the cab, his forehead pressed to the window and hands between his thighs. It’s reminiscent like the night before, though now the space between them smells of strong alcohol not sweet chocolate, and Eren’s eyes are closed, not reflecting stars for Levi to see in the reflection of the window. 

When he gets in his hotel room, Levi picks up a bottle of water, drinking half of it almost on the first go. His mind is clear out of alcohol, has been from the start and yet there’s something nagging behind his senses. When he closes his eyes, Eren’s wide eyes are looking back at him, and his arms are circling around his body, fingers pressing steadily on skin instead of layers of clothing. The smell—jasmine with boasts of citrus—is still strong in his nostrils, maybe for the duration of the whole night even though he’d tried to drain it out by holding in the strong mountain air. 

He paces the room, has been pacing it for what feels like at least an hour. He scrambles for his phone, still buried into the pocket of his coat and ignores the 1am written on display. His fingers are working fast, pressing the contact number and holding the phone flushed to his ear; the tips of his fingertips touch the side of his cheek, still a bit too warm than it normally is. 

The call breaks through after a while, and after a few cracks of static he hears, “Yes, Levi?” said from the other end. He was almost certain the moment would never come, but Levi is grateful for hearing Hange’s voice. 

“I think I'm fucking up.” Levi says in way of greeting, swallowing hard after the end of his sentence. 

A bit of silence from the other end, and then, “What do you mean? Too much fresh air got into your head?” her voice is cheerful, carefree, and Levi tries to focus on the lack of concern before he answers. 

“You could say that.” 

“Okay,” he hears Hange clearing her throat, her tone growing more serious. “What happened?” 

Levi stops there, because he doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know why he called her for now that he’s in the middle of the conversation. What _could_ be said—I met a boy that might be half my age and I'm scared of getting too attached, too fast. I'm scared that I might be falling for someone for the first time in my life and it’s unhealthy for him, for myself, for us in the end; I'm scared I won’t be able to push him away after what happened tonight. Levi feels sick just thinking about all these, laying them out in his head the same way he did for hours before calling. 

In the end, he says, “I went to a bar today.” and knows it’s not enough, nor is it justifiable for the way he’s acting, because Hange is the only one who knows exactly how Levi is after a bar night. 

“That’s not all, is it?” Hange says, her voice calming and understanding already for whatever is it to come. Levi shakes his head even though she couldn’t have seen it, and he doesn’t answer though that in itself is enough of an answer. However, thankfully, Hange doesn’t press the matter, doesn’t ask any more questions. A few minutes pass by with Levi trying to calm his breathing, pacing along the hall of his room with steady legs, counting every step in his mind. It calms him along the way, finally makes him dizzy enough to try and go to sleep. Hange senses the moment Levi stops pacing, taking a big breath before she says, “Just take care. Whatever you’re dealing with I'm sure it can be resolved in a way. You'll be staying there another week, and by the time you’re back it won’t matter anymore.” 

Levi lets out a grunt before he can swallow it back. The thing is that it might matter, a lot longer after he goes back in Japan, especially if Eren will continue to be a constant in his thoughts the same way he is now. Truthfully, Levi doesn’t want to know how it would feel when they are one continent away. 

“Unless it’s something you can’t forget even after you get home.” Hange continues as an afterthought. 

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers, takes a sharp breath and relaxes his muscles. “Hange I—I don’t know what I'm doing. I'll just go to bed.” he says tiredly, dropping his arm at his side and climbing carefully in his bed. 

Hange's voice picks up, a bit of a hopeful cheer around her words; “Alright, good night. Call me tomorrow.” 

“Will do. Thank you, good night.” 

Hange pauses for a moment, letting a powerful silence over the other end, and then her voice comes back softer, saying a short greeting before hanging up the call. Levi takes the phone from his ear, looks at the screen until it fades to black and then snuggles fully under the blanket. 

He tries to close his eyes and keep them closed, tries to think of anything else that might help him fall asleep, but instead the warm feeling of another body pressed into him envelops him again, along with a cold sensation passing directly in his ears and over his cheeks. Eren's hands are wider, he’d realized that from the start, but he wasn’t aware of their smooth texture or how his thumb feels stroking the back of his own palm. Eren's hands are wider—strong, beautiful with long fingers and bony knuckles. 

Levi shuts his eyes tightly, feels a whimper working his way through his lips and curses as he lowers his hand over his briefs and slips his fingers under, closing them hotly around himself. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Levi is determined to ignore Eren for the rest of his trip. He considers deleting his contact number from his phone, but knows it’ll be for nothing when Eren still has his own number in his own, and instead puts the notifications from him on mute. He plans out the words he wants to say if Eren would try to get hold of him again or ask him about the night at the bar, preparing himself in case Eren would remember. He doesn’t discuss more of the problem with Hange, choosing to keep the turmoil of thoughts gathered just inside his mind. 

But as it turns out, all worries might’ve been for nothing. Eren hasn’t called the morning after, or during the day, and at the end of the evening Levi checked his phone just to be sure, seeing no messages from the other. The other day passes just the same, as is the next and Levi feels himself calming down when he thinks that maybe he won’t get to strike a face-to-face conversation. 

There's still a bit of concern left, because something must’ve happened that stops Eren from reaching out again. Levi knows what it might be, what it ought to be the reason—just the same one he was hopping the other won’t remember, but if Eren _does,_ maybe realization came to him as well. Maybe he’s trying to keep distance for the same reasons Levi wants to. 

The thought that it wouldn’t have been so bad if they said some proper goodbyes passes through him on the third day, but he buries it back down. 

His days go slower without Eren, or maybe at a normal pace, not being as full and entailing without him talking Levi’s ear off. He goes back into Bern at different touristic spots he’d read about on travelling sites, and the atmosphere is loud and noisy, almost as if compensating for Eren’s absence. The first day is hard to get through, sometimes turning around as if expecting to find Eren behind to show him something or be sure he hasn’t gotten lost in the crowd. But still, it doesn’t take long for Levi to get back on his feet, pushing rational thinking before the nagging empty feeling in his head. And it takes him a short amount of time to gradually forget the other, focusing on enjoying the rest of his week before he boards the plane back to Japan, leaving all that has happened in Bern to _stay_ in Bern. 

However, it doesn’t take long before the dam breaks. 

It's on the fifth day of the week when Levi’s phone calls, and he’s about to answer when he stops to re-read the id of the caller. He'd changed the number to Eren’s name after their day in the old town, even though he can’t remember why he bothered with a number that’s going to be erased when he gets back home. He stares at the phone call, not knowing what to do, trying to remember the words he’d thought about a few days prior. They don’t come to him anymore, as if they were blanked out by his own memory. 

After a while, the call ends. Levi breathes out a heavy sigh, putting his phone back in his pocket and walking out of the store. 

It calls again later, when he’s in his room laying on his bed with a cup of hot tea and a new book. Levi considers ignoring it again just like before and focusing instead on his reading, but his hand reached over to the nightstand before he can stop himself, answering the call after what probably was too short of a time. “Eren,” he says, not into a question but not following the sentence either, not knowing what else to say. 

There's a sigh on the other end; “Thought you wouldn’t respond.” Eren said, and Levi stops from saying _I thought so too._ When Eren continues, there’s an edge of a grin in his voice. “I thought that’ll be nice to go on a hike, before you go. It'll be a shame if you don’t, we’re in Switzerland after all.” 

Levi groans, closing his book and putting it aside. He brings two fingers to the bridge of his nose, “I can go on a hike myself.” he says, but something about it feels forced, even to himself. His mouth turns into a grimace, closing his eyes tightly when he realizes Eren takes too long to answer. “Eren—” he starts, but the other jumps it before he can continue, 

“I know you _could_ go on a hike by yourself, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn’t anyways. I was just—I'm telling you that if you want, I can be your guide, for the last time. Or—the last time while you’re in Switzerland.” Eren leaves out a nervous laugh, and Levi frowns. 

“I doubt there’s a lot a guide could work with on the mountains. Not that many things to talk about or show.” 

“I assure you I can find a lot of things that’ll grab your interest.” Eren says as if he was expecting the response, and Levi rolls his eyes as he wills his grin to fade. “And more importantly, I know a place you won’t be able to find by yourself.” 

“I really don’t want to get lost in the mountains with you.” 

“You won’t get lost!” 

The laugh escapes his lips, and Levi brings a hand to his mouth as if trying to shove it back down on his throat. He thinks about the need to keep his distance, especially when Eren might still remember and especially if going on a hike with him will involve talking about it. He thinks about what Hange said, that once back in Japan these troubles will be nothing but past memories, and finally he remembers his regret for not having a proper goodbye, even if the time he’s spent with Eren was too short to form any sort of a stronger relation. 

It's still strong enough to trick his mind into thinking about him when he wasn’t around, or awaken his sexual drive that he’s kept closed for months. 

And so, Levi says, “Okay,” planning with Eren to meet tomorrow for the hike, where he would probably get to finally say what he was supposed to say way earlier. 

The next day starts bright, with the sun clear and golden in the sky; a perfect day for hiking. Levi dresses himself and decides to leave his coat behind, grabbing instead a long-sleeved shirt with trousers and an easy backpack he throws over himself before walking out the door. He'd texted Hange the night before, telling her he’s going on the mountain—with a hiking group he said, not mentioning the group is consisted only in himself and the reason for his mental crisis. She was ecstatic to say the least, telling him she expects tons of pictures of the views from the top of the mountain, even though Levi contradicted her saying he wasn’t planning on taking in such a long walk, as easy and relaxing it might be. 

The mention of photos made him remember the ones he took in the old town, and the ones in the park, and how some of them have only Eren as the center of attention. Levi either has to delete them when he gets home or hide them away from her eyes to not witness an unwanted interrogation. 

Eren waits for him at the start of the hiking path, the directions of it being given by him through gps the night before. Levi thinks meeting Eren again wouldn’t affect him in any way—it can’t affect him, but Eren smiles widely as he sees him and waves his hand with such enthusiasm it seems like it’ll rip off his shoulder, and Levi can’t do anything about the smile that forms on his mouth. And then when he’s closer enough, Eren moves towards him, arms open and leans into him for a warm hug, his chin touching the top of his head, and Levi can’t seem to be able to control his breath normally again. The hug itself lasts less than a minute, but it feels longer in his head. Eren puts distance between them immediately after he drops his arms from around him, and the fact that Levi has the urge to close the space between them doesn’t help at all. 

“It’s good to see you.” Eren says, with a sheepish look in his eyes. Levi scans his look before averting his eyes towards the signs behind them. 

“As much as I _love_ small talk, I think we should just start walking. We can do all the reunion shit while doing that.” 

“So sentimental.” Eren mumbles, walking in front of him with his hands around the straps of his own backpack. He looks like a college student on a field trip, a head taller than him and with the excited skip in his step. Levi's eyes drop on his legs before he walks after him, pants curved around the muscles of his thighs and wonders if Eren does sports, maybe basketball or volleyball, something to build his legs the way they are—then vanishes the thought away, too disgusted with himself. 

As it turns out, Eren does find things to talk about on the hike. He points at different plants, flowers Levi hasn’t seen before and explains their names or sometimes gives trivial facts that Levi half-believes to be true. There's not much trust in being convinced that Eren knows as much about plants as he shows to, but there’s also the possibility Levi might be mistaking. In any case, Eren has been only travelling for two years, he could’ve had the time to find interest in botany along the way. 

The trail ends up being really easy indeed, with a flat platform where they walk and no dangerous or tight cliffs to pass through. The trees are dense and big, but there’s beauty in them too, in the way their branches hang towards the ground and how the birds seem to be so accustomed to seeing humans that they don’t shy away from their nests. Eren talks about the different animals as well, even though he doesn’t know a lot about birds. He finds them for him instead, when he realizes that Levi takes photos of them, and when he can’t see the birds (due to the branches, not anything else) Eren asks for his camera and takes the photo himself. He does talk a lot about other animals from the mountains, ones they haven’t seen and hopefully won’t like lynxes, wolves or species of snakes. 

It's pleasant however, and Levi doesn’t really want to admit to himself that he’s missed Eren’s company these few past days, but with the way Eren is acting, it’s quite hard to ignore it. At one point, Eren starts walking backwards, gesturing with his hands as he talks about the lakes in the region, and Levi raises his camera involuntarily towards him, snapping a quick shot. Eren blinks afterwards, stops from walking further, and when his own action starts making sense in his head, he hears Eren saying, slightly offended, “You should warn me before taking pictures, I wasn’t ready!” 

Levi gulps, passing by him with his head down, “That doesn’t matter, spontaneous photos can be good too, especially when the subject doesn’t force himself to look photogenic.” 

“Do _I_ look good in spontaneous photos?” Eren asks, falling in line with him. Levi looks at him from the corner of his eye, seeing his interested grin and mischievous look and almost rolls his eyes at the flustered feeling it sent through his body; 

“Yeah, I mean—I’ll have to look.” 

He walks faster, trying to keep a fair distance between them as it was maintained before, but Eren falls right in step with him, quickening his pace. It's not the best solution to run in order to stay away, especially when Eren clearly is an athletic kid, but Levi has strength in his legs as well from jogging and regular gym dates. And when he looks back at Eren who gives him a challenging smile, the get-away plan turns itself into a competition, and Levi sprints into a run, followed closely by the other. He can hear him giggling under his breath, steps getting closer and closer and something about the childish way his voice gives out makes Levi crack a smile, hidden from the other’s view. 

They run through the forest, Eren taking the lead with a wild sprint that Levi knows it’ll leave him breathless after a few minutes. He can feel the muscles in his legs pulling sharply after being neglected for a long time, but he focuses on the beats of his heart and the chill air cooling his cheeks. He runs and his mind clears itself, even though Eren is right ahead of him; Levi ignores him, ignores everything around him and closes his eyes, willing his legs to go faster as if that’ll help escaping from his problems. 

For that short moment it didn’t matter that he wasn’t employed, it didn’t matter that he was falling for a too young boy or that his thoughts and feelings were all over the place more so than they were before coming to Switzerland. For a moment, Levi was alone with only himself and the emptiness of his mind and strain of his thighs. And then his chest collided with the face of Eren’s backpack, forcing him to grab the other around his hips to steady himself, and the slight contact itself made his thoughts run wild again. 

Eren however didn’t look startled, he didn’t try to push him away or lean towards him. He only looked at him over his shoulder with raised eyebrows, even after Levi hurriedly let go, and then he threw his backpack away, falling on his back in the grass. Levi frowned looking at him, trying to catch his breath and looking around to see where they’ve ended up, his gaze remaining fixed on the view. They were near a large lake with clear blue water. No trees were in sight, leaving the area bare to be illuminated only by the sun that was weaker now, covered by smooth clouds so the air wasn’t hot but not too cold either. The grass around them is of a bright green, and the first thing that passes his eyes when he looks at it are Eren’s beaming and wild eyes. 

“Told you I’ll take you to a good place.” Eren says from where he is sitting in the ground, and when he looks at him his eyes are shinning, as if the whole sun had shifted inside them. 

Levi sighs, holding up his camera and crouching down himself next to him. “Wasn’t so hard to find.” 

Eren snorts, rolling in the grass until he’s lying on his stomach with both hands holding up his face. He's looking at him, Levi can feel his gaze on the side of his face but he refuses looking his way, fixing his lenses instead. After a few pictures he puts the camera down next to him and leans back on his hands as he gazes at the scenery before them. Mountains are seen from afar, high above their heads and closer than Levi had seen them, bigger too and almost intimidating. Next to his side Eren is shifting again from his place, rolling on his side and on his back as he looks at the mountains upside-down. Levi ignores the small skip in his chest; “You’ve spent so much time with dogs that you’re starting to act like them.” he says instead, making Eren look in his direction. 

In that position Eren seems even cuter, with his hair messy around his head and red cheeks from running. He smiles, slow and deliberate. “Does that mean you’re starting to like me?” 

Levi blinked, a bit alarmed as he broke the eye contact between them and stared hard at the lake. It'll be the perfect moment to talk about it—all of it. It's the perfect place as well, calming in its own way, and if he gets upset no one would be around to hear the shouting or the crying, though Levi hopes there won’t be any of that. He had the same type of arguments for years with different coworkers or acquaintances, so it shouldn’t be so hard for him to warn Eren now. 

He blinks again and shuts his eyes tightly, taking a sharp intake of breath, but as he’s about to speak he hears sudden rustling and sees a sudden flash of a shadow in front of them. When he looks at Eren again, the other is shirtless, his shirt hanging only by his arms as he takes it all the way off. Levi stumbles over his words, eyes locked on the lean form of his body, clearly as muscular as he thought it would be. His collarbones are sharp under his skin and curve neatly to his shoulders, his biceps flexing as he puts his shirt down, wide and strong and bigger than his own, sending a sudden shiver when he remembers how those arms feel around his body. There's a tattoo on the right side of his chest of a crow with its wings wide open, beak parted as if it’s singing, or shouting. He clears his throat looking away from it with difficulty, and realizes that his words are lost again. It seems like it’s a sign maybe, to not open the same type of discussion with Eren, as if something protects the other from such an argument, or maybe it protects the both of them, making them play the indifferent role to the end. 

Levi, though, can’t play indifferent with this, “What are you doing?” he asks, looking at the other a bit over his shoulder but still able to catch his gaze when Eren looks back at him. 

“Going for a swim. You coming?” Eren says happily, raising on his feet to unbuckle the belt of his pants. 

Levi looks directly at him then, raising both of his eyebrows; “Are you serious?” 

“Deadass serious.” 

“There might be a ton of germs in that fucking water, stay here.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re a germophobe, Levi. It's clear water, trust me.” 

“Eren.” 

He stops when Eren drops his pants to the ground and flings them over his shirt, running towards the water in nothing but black shorts. Levi stares at that ass go, heat raising in his cheeks and stays barely on edge as he silently keeps quiet again. Eren jumps with a splash in the water and dives down for long seconds before he resurfaces, head shaking the water from his hair. It's almost too sensual than it’s meant to be; Levi can see drops of water running down on Eren’s neckline and down under his collarbones, shinning under the soft rays of the sun. Then, Eren brings a hand to his head, ruffling the hair from his forehead and the flex of his muscle is so clear that Levi half expects it was done intentionally. 

His fingers twitch, wanting to pick the camera up and snap photos of this, of Eren—of something Levi finds to be the most beautiful sight from any other swiss landscape. It's maybe what Eren wants too, a reason why he’s so unnecessarily graceful, but Levi refuses to fall for that. He knows that some pictures with Eren will be easy to delete, the rest don’t hold anything else that important and they don’t have attachment. This however, Levi knows it would be different. With something like this, he won’t be able to forget, and the guilt of having pictures with Eren looking like he does now would never fade. 

He can’t watch either, not when Eren steals discreet glances his way and the green in his eyes is so wild that it almost does the trick to call him in. Levi waits a bit longer, staring away from the lake and then he gets up to walk towards the water, fists clenched at his sides. Eren is facing away from him, shoulders over the line of the water so Levi can see the firm muscles in his back, wide shoulder blades dripping with water. 

Eren turns around when he hears him approaching, and a grin comes up on his face. “Changed your mind?” 

“No,” Levi shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks determinately in the other’s eyes, acting as if he’s not affected with the way Eren’s skin is glistening above the water. “It was long enough, come out.” 

“You can’t make me unless you catch me.” 

“I'm not coming in, kid.” Levi said, but Eren’s smile faded away quickly, turned into a hard grimace. His eyes darkened under frowned brows, and looking at him sternly Eren slumped under the water, bubbles coming out on the surface fewer by second. Levi clenched his jaw, taking a step forward. “That’s not funny, come up.” he said, his fingers trimming involuntarily on his arm. The bubbles were coming one after the other, taking longer and longer until the water stilled. Levi narrowed his eyes, waiting until the concern was big enough to scratch on his mind, and then he moved quickly over the water, dropping on his knees as he started to reach his hand out. “Eren—” 

A large splash of water hit him in the face and on the front of his shirt, making it stick to his skin like glue. Levi blinked his eyes rapidly, wiping the drops of water from his lashes with his other hand. A laugh beamed in his ears, loud and light, and when he removed his hand from his face, he saw Eren above the water again with his head thrown over from laughter, eyes tightly closed and water dripping more heavily from his hair. He retreated his arm from reaching out to him, instead punching a fist into the grass beneath; “The fuck was that for?” 

Eren gasped for breath a few more times, bringing his head down and looking at him through the heavy curtain of hair that fell over his eyes. The green in them was serious however, sharply honest. “Stop calling me kid. I'm not.” 

Levi blinked at him, his jaw snapped shut. The thing is that Eren _is_ a kid, or at least compared to Levi he might be; it reminds Levi of the situation, of the boundaries he must keep. Not viewing Eren in that way means that’ll be easier for his instincts and feelings to take over fully—it means that by the end of his last three days, he might do something he’ll regret. 

He shakes his head once, pushing himself up from his kneeling position and waves two fingers in Eren’s direction. “Get out.” he says, voice almost edging on threatening. He walks back to their backpacks, hearing after a while as Eren finally comes out of the water, splashes a bit delayed. By the time he gets back in their place he feels his shirt dump over his chest, clenching him around the ribs. It's uncomfortable and sticky and wet, and Levi sighs heavily as he grabs the edges of his collar and takes it off in one move, folding it neatly next to his camera. 

Eren is stuck in place when he looks for him, staring at where Levi just placed his shirt and then looking up at him, averting his eyes when he realizes that Levi is looking back. His cheeks are deep red, the color of the blush working its way up into the tips of his ears. It's cute, and Levi would find it endearing if he stops trying to control his own thoughts. “It’s fucking soaked now. We'll wait for it to dry.” Levi says, leaning back against the grass with his elbows supporting his weight. 

Eren stumbles a bit in his step, finally walking to the pile of his clothes and taking his pants; his legs are still very wet, and the material will surely stick to his thighs, but Levi chooses to remain silent, watching as Eren slips his foot into the hole. “That’s fine.” Eren says as an afterthought. He drops back into the grass as if he’s exhausted, arms opened at his sides. Levi can see his chest raising from the corner of his eyes, breathing out the sighs with a ragged voice. “Sorry,” he says after a while, and Levi moves his head to the side enough so he can get the full side of his profile. He opens his mouth to say that it’s alright, but Eren goes on with, “Sorry if I forced you doing anything you didn’t want to these days. I shouldn’t have barged into your life like that, I'm sure it was too overwhelming for you but—I, you. You were interesting from the start, I really wanted to get to know you better. I had time to think. About that first full day together and then coincidentally meeting again, and at the bar—” Levi took a sharp breath through his teeth, fingers grasping around the grass. Eren heard, because his head turned at the side, eyes catching Levi’s own with wide expressions, glossy almost as if he’s trying not to cry, and—this isn’t how the conversation should’ve gone. “What I'm trying to say is,” Eren says, clearing his throat. He raises himself from the grass, standing upright as he looks down at Levi, leaning in close but not close enough to be intoxicating or easy to touch. “I'm not a kid, Levi. And you should remember that, despite whatever you want to do.” 

Levi swallowed down hard around the bile that formed in his throat, feeling heat raising in his own face. “I don’t—” he started, but his voice roughed up in the end, so much that he needed to clear his throat. Eren’s hand grazed over the grass towards his clenched one, tentatively touching his fingertips over the edges of his knuckles and in between the spaces of his fingers until the fist loosened under his hand. It was still too hard to breathe, the air chocking in his windpipe, but when Eren’s thumb stroked slowly over his knuckles, Levi breathed out a sigh, body fully relaxing. He turned his face towards him, Eren’s face so close now that Levi could sense his scent, jasmine and citrus mixed with the bitter taste of water and sweat. Eren's other hand came up to his shoulder, tapping his fingers over the pale skin, and Levi felt the shiver it sent though his veins. Seeing Eren leaning in, Levi held a hand against him, his palm touching his warm skin right above where his tattoo would be. “Before this goes any further,” he forced out, his thoughts blurring together into the intense feeling of longing— “How old are you?” 

Eren tilted his head away, studying his face with his eyes. The hand around his shoulder curved around the flesh harder, digging underneath the skin in a desperate hold. “Nineteen. And old enough to make my own decisions. And I know what I'm doing.” 

Levi wants to stop him, because _he_ doesn’t know what he’s doing, but Eren tips his head towards him in a shift move, wet lips meeting his for a few short seconds before he pulls back. The touch was so sudden and electric that it felt like an illusion, only the lingering wetness on his own lips being evidence of their connection. When he looks back at him, Eren’s eyes are wide and questioning, a bit frightened, and Levi had never felt more protective over anyone else in his whole life. 

“Is this okay?” Eren asked, with such a quiet voice that it became a whisper. Levi shut his eyes closed tightly, breathed on his nose and leaned in to crush their mouths back together. 

Eren's nails scratch over the skin of his shoulder in reflex, curving then around the back of his neck to pull him in closer, his other hand falling over the back of his palm to try and fold their fingers together. Levi turns his hand around, catching his fingers in a clenching hold as he parts his lips around the smooth and wet skin of Eren’s own, his tongue cleaning the drops of water from his bottom lip. The other startles at the sensation, gasping low into his opened mouth and then closing his teeth around Levi’s bottom lip to bite it, not gently enough as he pulled it down, breaking an inch of sensitive skin. His tongue lapped over the hurt place, slow and dragging forcing his mouth open and slipping in experimentally. Levi groaned from the back of his throat, raising his other hand to Eren’s chest as well and pushing him down into the grass, climbing over him with both of his knees on each side of his hips. 

The moment broke their kiss, and Levi opened his eyes to look down at him, breath caught into his windpipe and coming out rougher. Eren's lower lip is bitten, his cheeks madly flushed with his persistent blush, and his hair is still wetly sticking to his forehead, water trails cursing down towards his chest. His eyes are wide, and the green doesn’t look like the grass around them, but more like deep emeralds, shining only into the glow of the moon. Levi's fingers brushed the hair from his forehead away, caressing the tip of his cheekbone and then crossing his thumb over Eren’s lips, pressing on them. Eren's eyes diluted further, his tongue licking the pad of his finger as if wanting to take it in, and Levi groaned again, placing his hand next to the other’s head as he leaned in, matching their lips again with more force, more intent. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

They wait for Levi’s shirt to dry, the passing time filled with slow wandering hands and lips on lips or lips on skin. It’s so good and refreshing that Levi doesn’t remember how it was before he got the taste of Eren’s on his tongue, and he can’t focus on the reasons why he’s kept this at distance—because there must’ve been a lot of motifs for it and yet it feels so good that it seems like his chest is on fire, full of fleeting butterflies. 

Eren, deliberately, doesn’t ease his mind, instead leaning into his space even when they’re not kissing, just resting his head on the crock of his shoulder, or holding onto the back of his neck, scratching the ends of his hairline. He hasn’t left Levi’s hand from his hold the whole time they remained near the lake or when they left, interlocking their fingers together tightly. And Levi could’ve let go, but he doesn’t want that, not anymore, maybe. 

It's a slower walk down the mountain, as if dragged by both. They're alone in the forest, surrounded only by silently observing birds, and Levi finds a beat of courage into that, squeezing Eren’s hand into his own. Eren's own response is immediate, stroking his thumb over his knuckles and dropping his head at his level to nip the tip of his ear. He spasms at the contact right away, head tilted towards him. 

“Sensitive?” he could hear the grin in Eren’s voice, and the question is unnecessary from how much Eren had got to experience with him in the grass. Eren is a biter, fierce and reckless and predatory; he’s much more like a dog than he expected in the first place, determined and hard to control. 

It's a good thing Levi can be the same way. 

They reach the start of the path, the first sights of civilization visible through the trees, lights bright into the early evening. Levi squeezes his hand again, softer, and then lets go completely. Eren should’ve expected it, because his fingers get loose easily, coming around the strap of his backpack instead. He can walk to his motel from here, and Levi must run to the bus station to catch the next bus in time, but it doesn’t feel right to end the day like this, separating at a crossing point. He turns to Eren, seeing him staring back more uncertain than he was the whole day, his feet dusting the ground. 

“I uh, walk the other way.” he says, as if Levi doesn’t already know that. His eyes catch his just for a moment and Eren smiles sheepishly before quickly looking away. 

He'd done a lot of bad decisions this day, and one more—the biggest one yet, can’t really change what’s already been done. If he started it—if they want to keep this going the same way, then there’s no reason to hold back anymore. He's fucked up his plan too far to find a way to get back. 

Levi clears his throat, “You can come with me.” he says, and Eren’s eyes move so fast to him that he thinks he might’ve rolled them behind his head. “If you want.” 

Eren nods slow and sharp, but his eyes are sparkling, and once again there are stars in them, weaker still but bright enough to form whole galaxies. “Is that really okay?” 

Levi holds his stare quietly, shuts his eyes and throws every last concern out the window. 

And later when Eren’s hands finds his own again when they’re alone on the corridor, Levi feels the connection like burning fire, follows it like the light of a lighthouse. He puts the key in the lock, dropping his hand from his as he opens the door for them. He then turns to tell Eren that even if he’s well invited in his room, he still has to take his shoes off before _anything,_ but he doesn’t have the time for it. Eren’s hands are strong, too—Levi felt it earlier when he pushed him off and turned their places on the hard ground, but it’s still a surprise to feel it when the other pins him on the door and uses his own body to lock the door back. He doesn’t have air to protest, because Eren closes his lips against his own, stealing it all away, and when Levi breathes again is within Eren’s mouth, tasting the sweet taste around him. He closes his eyes, brings his hands up to curve them around Eren’s shoulders as he leans up towards him and lets himself get lost. 

The other’s hands hold him tightly, raking the hoodie up as he slips his hand under to press his palm over the hipbones, fingertips still a bit colder, making him shiver. Eren’s mouth shifts again, kissing him simultaneously on the lips a few more times, missing and catching the corner of his mouth instead before he dips his head and nips on his ear again. It's obvious, maybe has been obvious since the lake, but Eren is definitely eager to get this through. 

“Eren—” he starts, interrupted by the impulse to groan when Eren’s teeth bite carefully beneath his ear, his hands curving around his ass to move him into the room. “Eren, your shoes.” his voice was raspy, breathy, but the command was strong enough to make the other raise his head again and look him in the eyes. And Levi doesn’t know if this is better or worse, with how those dark pupils stare back at him like he’s the first course of a meal. 

He turns his head away and takes his shoes off carelessly, throwing them messily in front of the door. Levi takes his own off as well, lining them to the wall and feels the other watching his back as he does it, almost ready to jump on him the moment he’s done. Eren doesn’t however, and Levi turns around to face him, the distance between them too big. “Are you—” 

“Levi.” Eren said his name sharply, with a determined tone. “I want this, trust me. Do you want this?” 

The answer comes to him faster than ever, certain that this would’ve been the same answer for earlier, or the days before that. It would be the only answer he’ll have for Eren. “Yes.” 

Eren’s eyes light up immediately, just a fracture of them, trying to hold his eagerness in check. “Then stop running away and fucking touch me like you mean that—” 

Levi gets to him in two long strides, cupping his face forcefully in his hands and dragging him towards his own face, their lips colliding with each other too powerfully, crushing against each other. Levi's tongue swiped over the other’s bottom lip in silent apology, his hands relaxing on his face and travelling up into his hair, and Eren lets a murmur pass his own lips, full body slumping into Levi’s arms. His fingers grip around his collar, tugging him along as Eren walks backwards, every step light towards the bed. Levi cracks his eyes open to see where they’re going, the bed closer to them now that Eren guides them in as if he’s familiar with the room. His knees hit the bed, and Eren who wasn’t paying attention stumbled as he bumped into the edge, falling in the bed and dragging Levi with him. Their lips met again, fleetingly this time, just a bare brush, and Levi lined his head above him to finally _look._

Eren gave him a quick grin, prompting himself on his elbows as he climbs the bed fully, resting his head on the pillow Levi woke up on this morning, alone. His hair is already too much like after-sex, messy and tangled and standing up in weird directions, his lips red and eyes dark, half-closed as if Levi’s presence is calming yet arousing at the same time. His shirt is wrinkled where Levi had gripped him, and maybe his eyes on the piece of clothing is what makes Eren act before Levi could, taking it off and throwing it aside. “We don’t have all night, Levi.” 

He hiked his knees on the sheets, coming up over Eren’s body with both legs at his sides, leaning down into the crock of his neck and nuzzling the skin from his ear down to his shoulder. “I think we do,” he said, and left a trail of kisses over his collarbone, fingers tracing the ink of his tattoo. “What does this mean?” he asked, pressing a bit harder over the crow to direct his question since Eren’s eyes are completely shut. 

“Freedom,” he says it simply; “Took it the first time I went to a different country, in Finland. It was like a promise to myself to keep on flying through the world, you could say.” 

“Your first travelling choice was Finland?” 

“It was winter, and the northern lights aren’t something to miss. Though with the city lights it might not be the best conditions to see them. I saw them clearly in the mountains however.” 

“’course you did.” Levi shootees over his skin, his hand tugging at the belt of his pants as the other stroked circles into his side. “In a few years you’re just going to fucking built yourself a cabin and live in the woods.” 

“Hey, that’s on my bullet list, you’re not supposed to know this!” 

“Too bad,” Levi said, unbuckling his belt and feeling him raising his hips to help, the press of his hard thighs on the back of his legs hiking him upwards in the air. “Wait until a bear finds you.” 

Eren sighed as his pants were discarded, landing harshly back on the bed. “You’ll save me from it, won’t you?” he said, and maybe the overwhelming senses got into his head, making him talk nonsense. Levi narrowed his eyes at him but Eren’s are still closed, as if he’s imagining the fight behind his lashes. He presses his hand flat over the hard-on in his shorts to make him open his eyes again, fully alert, and then straightened up to work his way out of his own clothes, making a quick show out of it and throwing them in the same direction Eren’s shirt had fallen. Eren's hands come up rapidly over his chest, touching the skin with focus latched in his eyes, his fingers tapping over his neck as they find their way back in his hair, and Levi leans down along with his tug, smile coming on his face right before their lips meet again. 

It doesn’t take long for Eren to raise his hips against him, tentatively at first and then faster, sharper, searching for greater friction between them, short gasps reaching through his lips. Levi followed the shape of his body with his hand until it reached down over his shorts, pushing a finger under the fabric and tracing it along the side, feeling Eren’s full body jerking under him. 

It passes his mind then that Eren might still be a virgin, or at the very least he hasn’t slept with anyone for a long time which wouldn’t differ much from Levi’s own sexual life. 

And maybe it’s because of this, that both of them are desperate for a release after so long, that Levi doesn’t think anymore when he slips his whole hand in Eren’s shorts and grips him hard, stroking down on his cock until he reached the tip, thumb tracing the pattern around it. Eren's nails are digging in the back of his shoulder blades, sinking deeper and dragging over his skin when Levi moves up again, starting a slow but strong pace. His hips raise over the sheets again, knees bumping into Levi’s ribs; “Off, take them—off,” 

He doesn’t have to say it twice; Levi pulls his shorts down at the same time Eren grabs the edges of his own and tries to dug them away, fingers slipping off instead and closing around the back of his legs. He takes them off himself, his hand coming back over him again and continuing the pace faster than before, feeling the whole hotness of Eren’s cock in his palm. He feels the other’s fingers digging into the back of his thighs now, leaving marks he’s sure would last for days after. It does bring him closer however; with every pull and push he gives, Eren tugs him in closer until a sharper pull has him falling, catching himself with his elbow before he crushes Eren with his weight. The other huffs over his cheek, moving his head up for a kiss, which feels like the sole purpose of his tugs now. Levi leans into it, opening his lips wide for him as his hand works slower, putting more pressure over the sides before he removes his hand away and places it steadily over his thigh. Eren whines in his mouth, and it’s high and bratty and beautiful. 

“Why did you stop?” he asks, too breathlessly to form the words correctly, his hands lowering to the back of his knees as he keeps him up over himself. He could easily take control over this, could fling Levi off in a short move to take whatever he wants and Levi would probably even let him but—Eren’s too much of a mess already. His cheeks are flushed with a red blush, his eyes glossy from unshed tears and unfocused on his face, breathing hard and overwhelmed, and it doesn’t feel like he’ll come to his senses anytime soon. 

Levi kisses his collarbone, moving his hand slowly towards his entrance hoping that’s enough of an answer; Eren’s sharp gasp is enough of an understanding. “I don’t have condoms.” Levi says, an apologetic edge on his voice. 

Eren huffs, blinking his eyes to get back in focus. “You didn’t pack any condoms for the month you’re staying here alone?” 

He rolls his eyes, “I wasn’t planning on doing anything like this before I left. I came here with different intentions in mind.” 

“Really?” Eren smiled, as if he caught a big fish. He prompted himself on his elbows to get closer, the shift making his fingertips brushing along his entrance. “Why did you come here for, then?” 

Levi opens his mouth to respond then closes it again. He looks at their side where the laptop is placed on the nightstand, tabs still opened on different job application forums even though he hasn’t opened it again for almost a week. There's no need for Eren to know why Levi needed a vacation, maybe it would change his perspective on who Levi is though the possibility is low with what Eren’s current job is. He could lie, but it doesn’t settle right with him, not when Eren is involved in the situation, waiting for him to respond with genuine intrigue in his eyes. Levi shrugs his shoulder and looks him in the eyes to not miss a passing emotion. “I get fired quite frequently. Hange said I needed a breather, so she practically shipped me in between mountains.” 

Eren continues to smile at him, not a twitch on his lips or in his eyes. “You can’t deny that it actually helped, can you?” he asks, raising one of his eyebrows. Levi let a sigh through his lips, whether of amusement or relief he doesn’t really know. 

“I had a great time, yeah.” he doesn’t say that the reason for it was mainly Eren himself, but maybe he doesn’t need to explain that. The way he’s looking at him right now is probably enough to give him away. 

Eren blushes harder, finally averting his eyes and touching his lips to his shoulder for a second before he speaks again, “I have some.” 

Levi's eyebrows raise under his hair, “You? _Some?”_

_“_ I was hopeful, shut up.” 

Levi snorts, lightly slapping the side of his thigh. “Where?” 

“Backpack.” 

Levi patted his thigh again before getting up, crossing the corridor to the door where both their backpacks had been thrown in the haste of getting inside and over each other. He picks Eren’s own, searching for the pack of condoms and lube, rolling down a stack of four and wandering if the other was hoping to use them all in one night as well. Levi doesn’t have the stamina for that however. 

He approaches the bed with them in his hands, coming next to Eren who’s gazing at the view outside his window, eyes wide and sparkling with stars. When he puts the lube down on the nightstand Eren turns his face to him; “It’s beautiful,” he says, pointing at the window and the mountains ahead of them. 

Levi nods; it truly is the most beautiful view he’s ever had. “Not so great from your room?” 

Eren snorts and rolls onto his side, grabbing Levi’s arm to haul him up into the bed again. “I have a five-star view to a tree and an old man’s bedroom window, so not much action to see. I don’t stay inside unless I'm sleeping though.” 

“What the fuck do you do all day?” Levi asks as he uncaps the lube in his hands and pours it over his fingers—extra, just because he doesn’t know if Eren is new to this or not and hurting him is the last thing he wants to do tonight. 

Eren drifts down on the bed and puts a leg over his shoulder, raising his hips for him and being new suddenly doesn’t really has sense anymore. “There’s a lot you can do when you have nothing _to_ do. Well, aside from walking dogs and buying food, I guess.” 

“Kind of boring, don’t you think?” 

“You know me already, nothing I do is boring.” Eren says, and sinks down his hips on his fingers as if to prove it. He opens his mouth again, ready to talk more, but Levi grabs his hip with the other hand to steady him, taking his finger out and then moving it all in without warning, making Eren shudder from head to toe clenching his fists around the sheets. He moved the finger slow, patiently not wanting to get the other over the edge too fast or to make it far too overwhelming. Eren writhes beneath him, turning his face into the pillow as his gasps get pass his lips, trying to muffle them into it. His hips try to raise from Levi’s pressure, following the pace of his fingers and jerking when he punches another one right in, stretching them wide inside. His legs shake at Levi’s sides, and he leans in towards him to nip kisses over the shape of his jawline, moving his fingers deeper until they reach the perfect spot, making Eren throw his head back and moan loudly with no hold-back. 

Levi's lips move to the corner of his lips, not covering it whole as he listens to the sounds he makes, kissing up over his cheeks and lashes and forehead, his fingers parting wide inside. Eren's hands come around his shoulders, a chorus of “fuck, fuck, fuck” resonating into his ear. He pushes in and out for a while longer, feeling the sleek and disgusting liquid trailing from his hand and onto the bed until Eren’s hands push him away instead of closer, bringing him to a disoriented eye-level. “Ready, please Levi. That's enough.” 

He nods, kissing his cheek again and reaching for one of the condoms, ripping it with his teeth as he wipes his other hand on the sheets. He'll have to clean them himself, can’t allow whoever is going to be his room-keeper to stumble upon _this._ Eren tugs on his wrist, breathing hard and Levi places a hand over his tattoo to make him still, rolling the condom on and tapping it experimentally over his sensitive skin. Eren takes a sharp breath, shuts his eyes quickly but opens them immediately after, locking eyes with him as he nods and hikes his hips higher. Levi pushes in slowly, letting him accommodate with the change as he breathes steadily above him. 

Eren's eyes flutter, his hand tightening around his wrist and legs spreading wider for him, pushing his heels deep into the mattress. Levi held still, turning their palms around so he can grip his hand in his own and waits for the other to nod. It doesn’t take long, even if Eren’s signal might’ve been more out of lust than his actual current comfort, but Levi moves tentatively still, dragging his thrusts slowly. He feels hot, sinking into Eren’s warmth, enveloping him whole and his own groans come easily like this, shooting them off into Eren’s shoulder. 

His hips move again when Levi’s grip loosens around his side, snapping their bodies together with a force that makes Levi’s next push more brutal than the rest. He gasps as he almost falls over him, feeling Eren’s legs crossing behind his back and his eyes heavy on him as if he’s judging. “You’re not going to break me, Levi. Let go.” Eren said, half of it sounding like a command, and Levi sized him up and down before he prompted himself up again, grabbing the headboard tightly in his hands. His next thrust pushed Eren upwards, rattling him against the pillows with force. The angle was right, his thrusts hitting over his sensitive spot again and again making it harder for both of them to breathe or control their movements, pushing and pulling ruthlessly against each other. Levi's pace increased gradually, feeling overwhelmed himself as he tried to make sense of Eren’s mess of hair that kept falling over his face. He saw the movement of Eren’s arm, probably trying to match the erratic pace with his own hand, and then Levi pushed back fully, waiting for Eren to whine desperately before thrusting in again hard. He watched as Eren snapped his head upwards, his whine turning into a low and guttural moan, shivers running down his spine as he felt Eren’s release, followed soon after by his own, sinking deep into him. 

He lowered his head onto the other’s shoulder, his hands slipping from the frame of the bed and coming limp around Eren’s head. They breathed, both exhausted and warn out, laying into a puddle of sweat and cum that Levi would find too disgusting to bare if his thoughts weren’t completely whited out. 

Slowly, Eren’s fingers come over his cheeks, raising his face from his shoulder at his level, and Levi doesn’t quite want to open his eyes yet, willing all this to still be a dream. Lips press over his own however, fleeting and careful and Levi opens his eyes again to the boy’s smiling and tired face, sleep enlaced to his lashes and glimmer still shining in his eyes. 

It looks too good to be real. 

Levi snaps out of it, pulling himself out and taking the condom off, careful not to get too much of it on his fingers. “Get up, I have to change the sheets.” 

Eren groans, falling back and spreading his arms similar to a star-fish. “Is this how you really are? A germophobe housewife?” 

“I just want to sleep without cum sticking to my fucking legs.” 

“We can take a shower together. Leave the sheets for the room-keeper.” 

“Eren.” 

Eren groans, but he does get up from the bed, gathering the sheets in his arms as Levi steps into the bathroom to pick new shorts for both of them. 

When they get back in bed—after a shared shower, because the idea was still appealing, though the energy for anything else was lacking in both of them—Eren was the first one to fall asleep. His head is resting on Levi’s pillow, hand warm over his neck where it fell from stroking through his still-wet hair, one leg trapping Levi in place. It takes much longer for Levi to fall asleep, the guilt and disgust pouring over him as soon as he stepped off the shower with a clearer mind. He let this happen—falling for someone too fast and too hard, having a spontaneous one-night stand with a boy half his age. He can’t let this affect Eren further, not when in two days he won’t see him ever again. 

Levi makes his decision before he falls asleep, and it hurts to even think about it—about what Eren would think of it when he wakes up. He lets his arm rest over the other’s body to bring him closer and kisses his forehead again, as an apology, before he finally shuts his eyes and dreams of silent lakes and jasmine fields. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Levi wakes up before the sun rises, as if fueled in autopilot. He wakes up to Eren cuddled besides him, warm breath over his chest and one leg between his own. He untangles himself from him, tugging the blanket over his shoulder and averting his eyes from looking too much and rethink his actions. He checks his money first, still quite a lot left, enough to be on the budget, and then starts packing. He's silent about it, stacking everything in his bag fast but careful and charging quick glances to the bed to make sure Eren hasn’t woken up yet. 

He snatches a piece of paper from a notebook, starting to write when he realizes how pathetic this might be, leaving back a note to be the only explanation for his disappearance. It feels too much like a one-night stand, but in truth that’s just what it really is, and Levi fucked up enough to take it all back _now._

Writing Eren a letter however is harder than he expected. He doesn’t really has his way with words, especially when the situation is as vulnerable as it is. Levi never had a serious relationship, and anyone who broke up with him over time left with no attachments, leaving nothing behind other than anger. Eren however is different— _he_ is the one who got attached, who’s thoughts spiral around how Eren is such a carefree person that he can make him smile just by being next to him or how his eyes steal all the stars from the sky. This time it’s Levi the one who leaves someone to hold the anger, and the fact that it’s _Eren_ makes this all much harder. 

He scratches the words he writes on the paper, leaving harsh black lines that he’s conscient the other will see. The words start to blur into his head as well after a while, coming together into a mess of sentences and apologies that sum up to _you don’t deserve this._ He looks down at the paper, looking at the words written and realizing they couldn’t mean anything to him when he’ll wake up enraged—because he knows there’s no other way around that. 

He scratches that too, with lighter lines, and writes under _I’m sorry,_ _Eren_ _._

He leaves it like that, looking one more time at the bed before he leaves. The sun is slowly coming up over the mountains, flooding the sheets in light that touches the mess of Eren’s hair in brighter browns. His eyes are closed and he looks peaceful, lips parted as he sighs through his sleep. Levi tries to mark this in his memory, knowing it won’t help him forget any easier all that’s been before. He feels a sudden irritation in the back of his eyes and opens the door, leaving Eren into the empty room. 

He checks out of the hotel and walks to the bus station, waiting for the morning bus anxiously. When inside, he remembers their first day together, the press of Eren’s thigh over his own and his giddy fingers hiding in between his legs. The memory creates a bile of air in his windpipe and Levi takes out his camera to sort the photos, trying to find something to distract his mind. It doesn’t help when he realizes that the last half of them turned only in pictures of Eren from distance, coming off-frame or smiling directly through the finder as if looking directly into his eye. Part of him regrets not taking a last picture in the hotel room, at night or in the morning with wild hair across his face, but he knows that would’ve been torture—it’s already enough knowing he has all these photos to delete. 

At the airport he’s lucky to find empty seats for the plane to Tokyo, waiting two hours before the boarding begins. In the meantime, he’s blocked Eren’s number, making sure a potential hurtful text wouldn’t make all this even harder to go through. 

On the plane, high feet off the ground and leaving Bern behind, Levi allows himself to break down, crying until the redness of his eyes is barely bearable. He curses himself for letting all this happen, for letting Eren happen and leaving him behind like he wasn’t attached. Leaving as if all this was a terrible mistake. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Levi doesn’t tell anyone that he’s coming home two days earlier. He collapses in his couch when he’s finally in his house, shutting his eyes tightly to try and lure into sleep, willing the whole trip to change into a long dream. 

He wakes up three hours after, the bag still at his feet and lights turned off so that Levi wakes up to darkness, and for a second he expects to find the starry sky outside a wide window. He sighs when the only thing he sees in front of him is the counter of his kitchen and slowly detaches himself from the comfort of his couch, walking towards the sink to boil some water. Tea calms him, clearing his thoughts and making him slowly relax, even with the persistent itch beneath his ear. He moves around, unpacking and putting everything back into its place, ignoring the camera he left untouched on the dinner table. 

While he’s brushing his teeth, he feels the itching burning, scratching over it absently. He turns his head to examine it, looking back at a relatively deep teeth mark, flushing red and insistent. He covers the hickey with his palm rapidly, feeling his chest tightening and turns off the faucet sharper than intended. 

He remains in the house the day after, just like he stayed locked in his hotel room the first days, ignoring the space and time around himself. Eren keeps coming back in his mind, like the reminder of a landscape or a whisper, his voice still persistent in his ear drums. He tries to forget, to ignore the forceful guilt he feels while thinking about him, and for most part it works—until he tries to fall asleep, shutting his eyes in a dark room and seeing Eren’s face behind his lashes, bright eyes turned dark and angry and tears streaming down his rosy cheeks. 

He can’t sleep anymore after seeing that, all nights passing by with strained eyes. 

The night of the second day, someone knocks at his door. Levi whips his head to the sound, a hopeful beat in his heart until he remembers that Eren lives a continent too far, and walks to unlock it. Hange's fist is the first thing that comes through the door, barely dodging the side of his face as she catches the door in her hold to prevent him from closing it in her face. Levi looks back at her, her eyes a mix of confusion, anger and worry, and then turns around before he can let her expression sink in. Hange bursts through the door as he walks back to the couch, taking his cup of tea in his palm as he waits for her to start screaming. 

And it doesn’t take too long— “I had to hear from Jean that you’re back! He texted me saying he saw you entering the building looking like death more so than usual, and then he remembered that you were supposed to be still in Switzerland. Why did you come back—why didn’t you _tell_ me you were coming back?!” she stands in front of the couch, her hand clasped over her hip and eyes narrowed down at him. It's scary, and Levi forgot how terrifying Hange can be when she’s angry, but it doesn’t bother him as much as in other circumstances. She would have all the reasons to be angry with him when she knows what he’d done. 

Levi takes another long sip before he places his cup down and looks her in her eyes. He must look like a wreck because Hange’s eyes widen, just a fracture; “I fucked a teenager and got fucking scared.” 

Hange snaps her mouth open, frown darkening over her forehead—and that’s the face Levi doesn’t need seeing right now. He looks away back into his tea, listening to the short beginnings of every of her sentences cut short as she swallows them all back in. Finally he hears her sigh, and her tone is more careful and silent. “Levi, are you sure you haven’t actually fallen in love with said teenager?” 

“Shut up, damn four eyes.” 

“I'm just trying to understand. Fucking and falling in love are two very different things.” 

Levi runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it forcefully. “And is _that_ a better way to word it?” 

“It could be. It's your feelings we’re talking about. Yours and that boy’s. Now the deed is done, and you’re back in Tokyo while he’s in still Bern, but the distance won’t make anything better. If only, it’ll make it worse.” 

Levi groaned, pulling his hand away from his hair and covering his mouth with it, stopping any other sounds from coming through his lips. He turned his eyes to Hange, narrowed and red and fatigued. “And what the hell should I do then? Go back? He's _nineteen_ for fuck’s sake!” 

Hange closed her mouth shut, clasping her hands in front of her and trimming her fingers over her knuckles as she always does when she’s thinking hard about something. “He’s the reason you called me that time, right? After the bar night?” 

Levi sighs, dropping his head and twitching as he remembered Eren’s press from his front and the table edging in his back, the intoxicating jasmine and citrus scent of his skin. “Does it matter?” 

“’course it does! You must have his number, right? Call him back, text him. Communicate, Levi!” 

“I blocked it.” 

“Unblock it!” 

Levi reached under the table to get the box of chocolates from the bag, getting up to push it in her hands. His fingers lingered on the cover of it, eyes crossing to look at the bearded dragon on the display. “He picked the flavors and that horrendous cover. And—thank you.” 

His hand dropped to his side and he picked his tea again, walking to his own room and shutting the door closed behind him. Hange wouldn’t follow him there; she knows the bedroom is out of bounds especially when Levi is in a bad mood. He waits patiently for her to leave, taking longer than he’d like, but in the end the soft lock of his front door resonated in his whole house, and Levi leans back against his bed. His tea is cold, and he walks back in the kitchen to make another. 

Later into the night he takes his camera and deletes the pictures with Eren, passing over them with lightning speed, not stopping to regret what he’s doing. The pictures vanish one after the other, the evidence of Eren in his trip turning to dust and yet, the last picture makes him halt in his movements. There's Eren in the picture, his profile turned away from him as he gazes at the lake, shoulders bare and red tiny teeth marks along his neck, faded by the sun. His hair is a mess and his eyes are wide even though not much of them is captured in the frame. Levi's breath catches in his throat looking at it—at him, looking so serene and beautiful here as he’s been in every other picture or moment of reality, and when his finger moves to delete the picture something within himself tells him to stop. His body freezes, looking down at the boy in the picture not blinking for so long that tears gather in his eyes, and he sets his camera back down, shutting it closed. 

It's around 4 in the morning when he plugs his phone and decides to unblock Eren’s number. It's a childish method to deal with the problem, and seeing whatever Eren wrote to him might help him deleting his number faster, pushed by the heavy remorse. His phone starts to furiously buzz with the abundance of notifications. Eren had called him, for about eight times after he left, the first call only half an hour after he’d checked out. The texts however are more than the calls, about thirty new messages flashing next to his name. Levi opens them, his hands shaking and passes quickly over the many words typed in anger. Eren cursed him for leaving, asking if all this was just his way of taking advantage, the exasperation so sharp that it was almost palpable, stabbing Levi straight through the chest. 

The latest few are more subdued, clearly written when Eren calmed down. _Read your letter, you should work better on saying goodbye._ Is the first text from today, around 2pm. The rest are too heartbreaking to read—Eren is apologizing, as if any of this is his fault; he asks if he somehow forced himself on him, wanting to know if he’d done anything wrong to make him leave him behind. 

_There was one more thing I wanted to show you before you left,_ is Eren’s last text, send barely two hours ago, and Levi reads it over and over with wet eyes until the screen gets too blurry. He shuts the phone and leaves the messages on read, not ready or knowing what to respond with and too weak to delete his number yet. 

It's ironic, how the thing that made it harder for others to understand and accept him is now what confuses himself, like a payback fired violently his way. 

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Weeks go by, and Levi slowly gets back on his feet gradually. It's Hange who pushes him out, as she often did in the past, dragging him to her office and keeping an eye on him as he paces around cleaning her place or reading over her papers in interest. And after getting out of the house, occupying himself with mundane things, Levi finds it easier to push all his thoughts back in their place. 

He opens the tabs on his laptop again after three weeks, searching for a new job on the multiple application forums. Finally, he gets the chance for an interview in two days, the company agreeable from what he’d read in the reviews and the site presentation. He walks to the interview with confidence, determined to make this count and do it _right._

The manager, Erwin Smith as he presented himself, seems like a respectable guy with a strange sense of humor and eyebrows that hold half the width of his hair. He smiled at him throughout the whole interview, eyes never leaving his own and keeping his face free of any emotions. It felt, for the most part, that Levi is not making a great job out of this, but at the end Erwin clasped his hands in front of his face, smirking his way and extending his arm for a handshake. “It’ll be a pleasure working with you, Levi Ackerman.” he said, and Levi controlled himself from saying, “We’ll see about that.” 

The work environment is permissible, every office being separated from others and with a personal key. The space itself is big and it’s kept clean, with wide windows that hold the view over the busy city streets below. Levi wonders one time before going back home if the sky from these windows can be as bright as the sky from Switzerland, but the reminder of the country dies off fast from his mind before other memories could crawl back out. 

It’s a late night when he comes back from the work, tired from signing and writing papers until after the ending hours—it’s more like a born mechanism, working himself to exhaustion as if compensating for the last jobs. Erwin caught onto it after just a few days, his ways of understanding and reading the situation too precise most of the times, and instead of arguing, he left him a spare key for the company. “This isn’t an invitation to work yourself to death, Levi.” he told him before leaving the key on his desk, and Levi respects that—to some extent. 

He's tired, half asleep on his feet as he walks up the stairs and digs his hands for the keys in his pocket, but when he reaches his floor, he sees a silhouette in the dark, leaning against his door. Levi stops from walking further, trying to squint his eyes in the dark, but the shadow moves instead, triggering the lights to light up the corridor and falling over his face. 

Levi blinks, almost tripping backwards on the stairs as he stares at Eren’s face, eyebrows crossed over his forehead and eye-bags as dark as his own. He looks tired as well, completely worn out, and Levi can’t really say if this is real or if Eren is a full-body hallucination caused by his mind playing tricks on him. 

Eren shifts on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest and whispering, even though within the empty corridor his words sound like explosions. “Hey,” was the only thing he said, but that alone was enough to prove he’s _here._ He swallows visibly struggling, pushing himself from the wall. “Can we talk?” 

“What are you doing here?” Levi’s voice is so strained it comes out as a broken whisper, trembling and terrified. 

Eren looks directly at him as he says, “Took the plane like you did when you left me.” 

“Are you here to fight with me?” 

Eren's mouth twitched, his eyes dropping to his feet. “I said I'm here to talk with you. And I can knock you out for sure with the way you’re holding yourself up now.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, tightening his fist over the wall. He let out a sigh as he continued walking, deliberately keeping his eyes to the door while unlocking it and leaving it open for Eren to walk behind him. The door closed in their backs with a soft click, shutting them into a deadly silence. 

“Your house looks like a hotel room. So clean.” it’s the first thing Eren says, and Levi turns to raise an eyebrow at him as he walks over to boil black tea for the both of them. 

He leans behind the counter as he puts the tea to cool down, crossing his arms and watching Eren from the place he chose to sit on the couch. “What are you doing here, Eren?” 

The other looks down in his lap, clasping his hands together between his legs and fidgeting. When he looks back, his gaze is focused and hard once again. “I know why you left,” he says, and Levi twitches at the mention of it. “You were scared, I knew that from the beginning. I don’t know about your past relationships but you’ve clearly not taken any risks before— _me.”_ he pushes a hand through his hair, tugging it behind his ear. It has grown out a bit after he’d seen him last time, one month and a week earlier that feels like more than half a year now that he has Eren out of reach again. “I told you I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I've said that I knew what I was doing. That's still true Levi; I know what our differences might do to us in the long run, but I also know that I want this and it’s not something I felt as temporary interest. I _like_ you, and after—after our last night I think you like me too, but you’re too scared to admit it. Too scared to see it for yourself.” he looked back at him, eyes shining from the distance, and Levi felt the impulse to reach out and wipe any tears away. 

He turned around to grab both their cups instead, walking the distance to the couch and sitting beside him as he gave Eren his tea. “You flew all the way from Bern just to tell me that?” 

Eren shrugged, the first sight of a smile appearing on the side of his lips. “Well, you make it really hard to get a hold of through the phone.” he’s not wrong; Levi held back from getting rid of Eren’s number for another three days after he talked with Hange, even though she kept advising that reaching out might be the better solution. Clearly, she was right about that, or else Eren wouldn’t be here right now, though his presence in Levi’s apartment isn’t as heavy as he would’ve expected—strange sure, definitely awkward, but somewhat relaxing as well. “And you forgot your plane ticket. I thought it might be your way of inviting me over.” Levi looked at him and frowned. He doesn’t remember leaving it behind though the fact that he _did_ is so stupid that it makes him laugh, actual giggles coming out as he tries to stop them with the pad of his palm. 

“Fuck, really?” Levi asks, turning to Eren and seeing the soft shape of a smile on his own face. “How did you know where I live? I haven’t left my address there too, have I?” 

“Ah,” Eren says, scratching the back of his neck nervously; “About that, I—uh, Hange called me. I think she stole my number from your phone.” Levi snapped his mouth shut, straightening his jawline and waiting for him to talk. Eren shrugged one of his shoulders, as if reassuring him it’s nothing to get fired up over. “She just said you’re a stubborn piece of shit with your head in the gutter who likes to torment himself instead of letting others suffer—her words, not mine. Though I do agree with her.” 

“She told you to buy a flight to Japan?” 

Eren nodded, after a short while. “She offered to send me money for the ticket, but I told her I can get enough in time. Took me longer than I would’ve liked but I couldn’t have taken her money either way. She said if I'll come see you and talk about—us, it will make you understand. And she thanked me for the chocolates.” 

Levi sighs, his fingers holding the cup so tightly it threatens to brake. Eren shifts in his seat, putting his tea on the table and turning towards him. He feels the couch dipping more as Eren slides his leg over the space between them, not enough to touch him but enough to lean in towards him. He looks back at him, eyes wide and hopeful, all the tiredness hidden behind the expectation. “So? What do you say? Do you want me still?” Eren breathes out in the end, securing a smile on his face. 

He swallows tickly and settles his cup next to Eren’s, turning towards him and leaning in until his hands cup around his cheeks, thumbs tracing the shape of his eye-bags softly and brings his head down to look him in the eyes. “I could be bad for you, you know? On so many levels, this relationship could go down.” 

Eren looks at him, his gaze full of fondness and shakes his head. “Nonsense. You are the one right for me, Levi.” he said, bringing his hand to bop him on the nose, laughing when Levi jerked his head away startled from him. “We’ll take it slow from now.” Eren promised, closing his palm around Levi’s cheek, and slow or not slow, Levi still wants to kiss him senseless. 

He leans into the space between them and seals their lips together, softer than any time before, feeling the shudder that went through Eren’s body before he pulled away. Eren followed after him, pressing their lips more like making a promise through it, gasping when Levi’s hands moved up into his hair and tugged softly at the longer strands between his fingers. The other’s hand curved around his collar, bringing him closer until their chests pressed together, the heat from their bodies exchanging through their clothes. It’s overwhelming, and Levi feels hot all over, his fingers clinging onto him in fear that all of this will end up being a dream in the morning. Clinging on Eren fearing he’d disappear otherwise. 

He shifted his weight, climbing a leg over Eren’s lap and pressing down on him, trying to envelop himself in his arms and scents. Eren's hands changed their position from his collar down under his thighs, holding him up and squeezing more as the kiss becomes deeper, developing into a fight for control until Levi gives up, sighing happily from the back of his throat. 

Eren pecks his lips a few more times before completely leaning away, touching Levi’s lips with his finger when he tries to lean back. “I told you I wanted to show you one more thing in Switzerland, right?” 

Levi squints his eyes at him, the text a complete blur in his mind; “Yeah. I'm sorry, I should’ve—” 

“Don’t worry. I brought it here.” Eren says and raises his hips as he puts his hand into the pocket of his jeans. He takes out a crumpled-up flier, unfolding it with his hands and clearing the creases as best as he can before giving it to him. “It’s a travelling advertisment” he says, like Levi can’t read it for himself instead. 

Levi reads it through carefully and looks down at him again with a crease between his eyes. “You wanted to show me a travel plan for Helsinki?” 

He felt Eren’s fingers circling on his thighs, feeling him relax under his weight as he looks up smiling widely like an overly excited puppy. “I thought you’d want to see the northern lights with me.” 

His lips twitched upwards, looking back at the beautiful landscape displayed on the front of the flier. “I have a job now, I can’t right away.” 

Eren shrugs, “I'll wait for you, find a job for myself here, an apartment—” 

“You can stay here.” Levi blurs out, recovering only after seeing Eren’s surprised expression. “If you want to.” he clarified, even though it’s clear what Eren wants. 

The other smiles up at him and raises his head for another quick kiss that makes Levi’s heart beat erratically. “Let’s find our freedom together, then.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i've never travelled to switzerland, so i apologize if any of this was inaccurate. other than that, thank you for reading :))
> 
> [+twitter](https://twitter.com/iwakawaroo)


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